


Lover Boy

by pennydaniels



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alpha Theodosia, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Bigotry & Prejudice, F/M, Family Drama, Family Feels, Mildly Dubious Consent, Omega Philip
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-24
Updated: 2020-04-23
Packaged: 2020-07-17 23:16:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 29,969
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19964851
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pennydaniels/pseuds/pennydaniels
Summary: Philip doesn't want to be bonded, doesn't want to be an omega and doesn't want to be in this holding cell in that order. Plus the alpha in the cell next to his won't stop fucking staring.OrPhilip's suffocated and Theo's lonely. It's a match made in heaven.





	1. I'm not asking for a miracle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Philip gets arrested, gets bonded and then kicks himself out of his home. Yes in that order.

“What the fuck do you want?” Philip snarled. 

His hands were clenched and he swore he'd never felt this angry before in his entire life. Every one of his nerves seemed to be fired up at once. Ever cell screaming at him to fucking rip this girl apart. But what could he do? What could poor omega Philip Hamilton do? Poor omega Philip Hamilton who had run away on his mating day and was therefore in state custody. What could cuffed up caged omega Philip Hamilton do to this girl for her to stop fucking looking at him. Looking at him like the bondmate his parents had picked out would. Looking at him like he wasn't dangerous.

He postured harder getting up in the girl's face (well as much as he could with the cage bars separating the two of them). He pressed himself right up to them- still mindful that the guards could charge them up with electricity at any moment- slotting his cuffed hands between the bars. The girl was in the cage opposite and her stupid alpha face was turned towards him and he could smell her stupid alpha pheromones and fuck he hated her. Hated her so much he wanted to dig his teeth into her flesh and rip and rip and rip until he tore her apart.

She was also cuffed and had a muzzle on which he could tell she hated by the way her face was twitching. He could see her fingers curling and there was also a chain connected her waist to the wall. More omega discrimination. They obviously thought that poor omega Philip Hamilton was less of a danger than this girl who was shorter than him and smaller than him. All she had on him was the added bonus of biology. 

Philip felt the anger draining out of him and he tried to keep the indignation going but he couldn't. He wasn't really angry at this girl. He was angry at this whole situation. At life. At classifications. At his parents. At the whole fucking world. 

So what if he was a flirt? So what if he liked to tease and talk and smile and why did that make him a danger to himself? He could fucking take care of himself and make his own sexual and relationship orientated decisions. Like he wasn’t fucking stupid. And besides, it wasn’t like anything bad had happened. 

Philip slumped to the ground and pressed him forehead against the bars. If they fried him they might as well get his brain.

“Sorry.” He mumbled.

“It's chill.” The girl responded as well as she could with the muzzle. He could hear her clothes shift as she moved and looked up to see she had sat down as well. They were facing each other with about a foot of space between them. Oh, and two sets of bars.

Philip sighed, “I fucking hate this.”  
He smiled wryly at her, “I blow one guy and the whole world freaks out and my parents arrange a bonding.”

The girl snorts and shifts as close as she can, “Kinda same on my end.” She tosses her cloud of hair over her shoulder smoothly and Philip can be forgiven for the way his eyes are drawn to the movement, “I get into debating this dumbass once and he calls a level three aggression order on me for yelling and I get locked up.”

Philip nods eagerly settling in for a good bitch out, “Yeah, and next thing I know I'm on the way to be mated off to some family friend's kid.” He throws his hands up. “Like what the fuck?”

The girls rolls her eyes, “What was your family even thinking? Do you even know this guy?”

Philip shakes his head, “My mum kept being all like 'you met him when you were five remember? You guys were so compatible!' as if five-year old playdates are a good indicator for long term romance.” Philip sighed again. “I hadn't even presented at five. Again, what the fuck.”

The girl leans back slightly, as if shocked, “Does anyone in your family even get the dynamic?”

“Well my mom's a Beta and my dad's an Alpha so no not really. I'm an omega.” He adds for clarification and he likes the fact that she hadn't just sniffed it out and started using it. He likes that he has to tell her. Philip had this fantasy when he was younger of being so un-omega that no one would ever be able to tell and then when he was rich and famous and powerful people would go “oh you’re an omega, wow I had no idea” and by that point it wouldn’t even matter anymore. 

“And my mum's side are all Betas and a few Alphas.” He shrugs then. “And there isn't any family on my dad's side so yeah.”

This is the point where most people go “oh but they couldn't possibly understand then so you mustn’t blame them”.

“Cocksuckers.” The girl mutters. She lies down and props both of her legs up on the bars. Obviously not worried about the electricity or too far gone to care.

Philip sighs, “Dumbasses.” Then he launches back into self-righteous fury, “So obviously on the way to the bonding which is only happening because there are rumours being spread and the systematic oppression of classification.” 

The girl nods encouragingly, she taps a foot against the bars slightly absentmindedly. “Let it all out.”

“Thanks. Anyways, obviously I freak out because I don't know this guy and I value my freedom and who the fuck is he? And I don't want to be bonded to him and all the rest of it.”

“So, you bolted?” The girl's looking at him entirely without judgement.

“Yeah. When we stopped at a gas station on the way there, I made a break for it. Only made it a few miles before I got picked up by the cops because 'what's an unbonded omega doing wandering around with no chaperone or pass?' Honestly.” Philip also slumps to lie down flat. “I wouldn’t give them my name so I've been here ever since.”

He sneaks a look at her. “Sorry about when I snapped at you before. It's just not a good time.”

“Nah, don't worry. I'm also having a shitty day.” She jangles her cuffs, gestures to the muzzle and raises an eyebrow at him.

Philip can't help but laugh.  
“Sorry about your aggression order by the way. That's a shitty card to pull especially during debate. I mean what are you supposed to do. Whisper everything while staring at the ground?”

The girl shrugs. “Not the first time it’s happened.” She puts her hands behind her head. “It’s just such a mess because I've already got three strikes so now I'm gonna have to go to court and have some judge call me a liability to society because” She puts up air quotes, “ “Unbonded Alphas” are a terror when they can't control themselves.” She throws an arm over her face. “Then he's gonna force bond me with some dipshit and I'm just so tired of all this crap.”  
“Wow. Your day is officially shittier than mine.”

The girl grunts in reply.

“Why does everyone think bonding is the solution to everything?” Philip continues. “Like when did this become an appropriate way to solve everything? Your son's sleeping around. Oh! Gotta bond that. Someone is actually being enthusiastic about academic shit and damn gotta bond that out of trouble.”

The girls snorts. “So true.” 

Philip decides he likes making her laugh, “Sometimes joining two people for life who have never met is not the way to go. It’s crazy! Being bonded is actually a big deal. I mean it’s not just one neck bite and a roll in the hay and hey presto! all your problems are solved. It's a genuine for life commitment which is a long ass time and ugh I feel like because everyone has to do it people forget how much it actually matters. Like fucking hell. At least pick someone you're compatible with.”

“Exactly.” The girl sits up. “Like all this court ordered and arranged bonding? Total bullshit. It's one of the reasons all these bondings never work out and end up abusive. Also, the lack of an easy system for people to void bondings means that when it does go sour people are stuck in these life-long relationships. I honestly think it's fear of societal retribution that keeps people together.”

Philip rolls his eyes. “Why is there even any kind of stigma around separation. Let the people make their own decisions jeez. I don't know anyone who's had a bonding voided even though I know plenty of unhappy couples.”

The girl nods, “Neither have I. And sometimes it just doesn't work out. Like all those unhappy couples made a good go of it but people change and a lot of the time they aren't compatible.”

There's a beat of silence between them and ok she’s not that bad. She’s kinda nice.

“So, when do they drag us off?” Philip asks. Like when does he have to face his parents and whatever fucking dipshit they’re trying to set him up with.

“Hm.” The girl looks up, “Oh yeah you haven't been in before.” She shook her head, “If they grabbed you after two pm then you'll be in over-night.”

Philip blinks, “What.”

“Yeah.” She makes a face. “The justice system is dumb.”

“Damn. I can't believe congress is voting on stuff like whether or not to make abortion illegal while there are arrests in an OBVIOUSLY EMPTY HOLDING STATION that need processing.” Philip hollers the last bit in case any guards are around to hear him.

The girl laughs again at that. “Underfunded fuckers.” She agrees.

“Do my parents ever know where I am?” Philip asked.

The girl shook her head, “If they don't know where to look then they won't find out 'til tomorrow morning. Like the first time it happened at school and when I didn't come home my dad called the school and they told him what happened, so he knew.” She stretched out her legs in front of her and the chain rattled. “But the second time it happened in a cafe and he had no idea where I was. He actually called the police cuz I was “missing” and that's how he found me.” She sighed. “He should know this time cuz it was at school but still.”

The “but still” lingered in the air because yeah. It was still shit because of the court order and the bonding.

The girl seemed to pick up on his silent discomfort. “I kinda made peace with it a while ago. The whole court order thing. I've been waiting for my third strike for ages” She looked at her hands, “I always got picked up for aggression before I presented and afterwards I tried to reign it in but I can't.” She held his eye as she spoke and yeah, that was a level two aggression order already. Just the eye contact but combined with words yeah. Yeah that would be enough. Which was so dumb. She was just talking. If Philip screamed in someone's face and slapped them he'd barely get a look in his direction. 

Philip nodded, “Yeah. My aunt's an alpha on my mom's side and she's pretty full on. But she lives in England most of the year and the laws are laxer there. She's also got a waiver signed at work so she can talk normally without getting arrested.”

The girl snorts. “It's so weird because once I'm working and I've signed a waiver all my aggression will be seen as a good thing.” She huffs out a breath. “Why not now? Why can't we just all value all characteristics now?”

“Well at least yours’s will get better in the long term. Society sees me as a human sex toy slash baby maker.” Philip tries to keep his voice light but he can't help the weight of bitterness. On one level he gets it, male omegas are fucking sex-perfect (and he takes full advantage of that). No danger or pregnancy there. But… but it’s still not fair. 

The girl looks at him and just reaches out through the bars and yeah Philip wants some contact comfort right now sue him. Omega instincts will die hard no matter how much he tries to squash them down. He reaches as well and they're just able to hold hands.

As soon as their skin connects it’s like being struck by lightning, Philip flushes. He can feel the dampness of her fingers and the smoothness of her palm. He feels himself getting hot and his heart is beating and oh shit. The girl feels it too, her face growing dark and he can see her pupils dilate and she snarls slightly.

“Oh shit.” She’s struggling to speak he can tell. 

“Oh shit indeed.” Philip tries to sound chill but he all but whimpers. He feels so so so hot and he wants to touch her again. Philip’s been in heat before (once a long time ago before he started getting shots to prevent it) and this feels scarily similar.

The girl whines high and flings her hands through the bars. Philip reaches out and touching her is like the first sip of water when you're thirsty- immense relief but nowhere near enough.

Everything's getting blurry and he feels the girl pull away and he almost starts sobbing. He looks at her and sees her struggling with her cuffs almost frothing at the mouth. Philip’s been with Alphas in rut before. This looks… similar.

Damn. Philip distantly thinks. They may have locked her in Alpha cuffs but they didn't lock her in Alpha rut cuffs. Still, it's a surprise when the metal gives way and her hands are free. He should be worried. He should be scared. There’s no rut collar around his neck to prevent her from biting him. No one around. No one to stop her from throwing him down and taking and taking and taking. 

She turns to him and her eyes are impossibly dark, and Philip wants to touch her so badly. He has no reservations. All he wants to do is touch her.  
He's grinding against the cage bars and whimpering some more. Come get me, he chants to himself, c’mon Alpha come get me. Fuck me. Breed me. 

She's standing now and throwing herself at the cage bars and they're not gonna give way he thinks dismally. No no no no. Alpha need. Need Alpha. His thoughts are floating away from him. It’s like being on every drug known to man simultaneously and his mouth waters. Slick pumps and he wants to cry. He needs her so so so bad. 

“The lock on the door.” He manages to croak out and she smiles at him bearing all her teeth which is simultaneously terrifying and thrilling. More thrilling actually. Actually, way more thrilling. His skin aches and his dick aches and his head is throbbing with anticipation. He might come before she even touches him. 

The girl busts the lock and he doesn't know how long it takes before she’s standing in front of his cage and he's grappling for her skin. It’s too much and not enough.

“Get in here.” He snarls tugging at her clothes and she obliges, hitting the lock until the metal dents inwards and clicks the door open.

She's on top of him in seconds. All Alpha pheromones and fluffy hair and smooth dark skin and he's grinding helplessly upwards and then he flips them and she's under him which she seems to like. She's purring as he grinds down and sucks a trail down to her breasts. 

He hums a smooth noise as he pushes her top and bra out of the way and attaches his mouth to her nipple. She’s so pretty he marvels and so so so fucking soft. The thought distantly occurs to him that he’s gonna come pretty fast if he doesn’t hurry up. He can smell her and the waiting, the anticipation for sex fizzes in his mouth.

The muzzle is still on her and neither of them had really thought about it and he almost laughs and gently reaches around to un-buckle it. When she’s free and he's tossed it away he mouths along the raised abrasions its left on her face and feels angry at whoever dared to do this to his Alpha. His Alpha. 

Her legs wrap around his waist and he reaches to flip up her skirt and push her underwear out of the way so he can touch her. She’s slick and smooth down there, not as wet as an omega or beta but still slick enough. Philip might even be wetter than her. 

She moves to grasp at him with her hands, tugging down his dress pants (nice dress pants for a nice bonding to a family-approved boy) so she can get a hand on his dick. It’s too much too quick and he comes on the third pull and twist of her wrist. 

The thrumming under his skin quietens and the heat recedes and by the time he feels fully aware she has two fingers inside of him and is stoking and probing in a way that speaks to instinct and enthusiasm not skill.

“Fuuuuck.” Philip comes again with three fingers in him. He’s wet enough that he wouldn’t be surprised if she could fit her entire fist in him and it’s a though that he wants so so badly even as it repulses him. He lies there quivering in the aftershocks and takes a moment to really look at her. The flippy material of her skirt is tucked into its waistband and she’s taken her underwear all the way off by now, her skirt is rucked up along with her bra and she has his cum on her stomach. Philip doesn’t think he’s ever seen anything quite so sexy. 

It’s even better when she blows him back to full hardness. She’s a good alpha, she’s taking care of him he thinks as she gets him off again. It feels so good it hurts and coupled with the genuine warmness he’s starting to feel towards her he feels this weird contentment. Philip feels it set in bone deep and he could die right now, and it wouldn’t matter. It wouldn’t even matter.

He can feel a bond growing in a way that scares him and fills him up at the same time. It’s like the most beautiful dream that he’s trying desperately not to wake up from, that he knows he’ll wake up from and feel something like pain curdle in his chest.

He wants to make her cum now and manages to get her on her hands and knees kneeling behind her so he can press his mouth to her cunt. Sucking desperately like he’s parched and keeping a finger on her clit, rubbing in slow maddening circle while she whines and arches back into him. He likes it, likes her desperate and raw because he can pretend to claw back some of the control that his heat robs him of. 

She comes howling and he’s shocked that the guard who’s asleep outside doesn’t come and investigate. She’s shaking through the aftershocks, pulsing around his fingers while she pulls him to kiss her. He likes kissing her, it’s slow and languid and calms some frantic beating in his skull. It’s almost chaste, the press of lip against lip. They kiss for what feels like hours, he’s fading in and out of active consciousness. The orgasms have dulled the heat enough that he feels comfortable lying there on the metal cage floor with his legs tangled in hers. 

She’s lucid enough that they start to talk. It’s disjointed at first, both of them keep getting distracted but slowly as time comes back to them it morphs into a fully-fledged conversation. A little like what they were doing before, except they’re both whispering as if talking can shatter whatever bubble they’re currently lying in. 

He learns that her name’s Theodosia and that she’s in high school just like him. She’s seventeen and she wants to do Law like her dad and is maybe gonna do politics as her undergrad. She’s very pretty this close up.

She learns that his name’s Philip and that he writes poetry sometimes. She wants to hear it. He’s eighteen but in the same grade as her cuz he spent a year out of school because of some family stuff when he was fifteen. She likes his freckles and his nose and she presses a soft kiss to the underside of his jaw and feels his body shudder. Cute cute cute cute cute cute cute. He’s the most beautiful boy she’s ever seen in her life and she wants him to want her with a ferocity that’s startling. Theo’s dated before, she’s gone on dates and kissed people at house parties and had crushes where she would watch someone out of the corner of her eye and be flooded with adrenaline when they approached. But this is different. Her attraction her is so strong it scares her. She knows it’s just pheromones and Alpha Omega stuff but it’s so so real and so so strong. It feels so real. 

The road to fucking again feel organic enough that she doesn’t even know how it happened. She’s riding him and the angle hits her clit just right and the pleasure it building and building and she can see the look on his face as well when she bends down to kiss him. She doesn’t know how her lips migrate to his neck but all her emotions feel like they’re leaking out of her body and her brain has been removed and put back in wrong. He’s arching up and offering his neck and keeping a strong litany of “fuck fuck fuck Theodosia fuck fuck fuck me bite me please please please I’m yours I’m yours mark me please please.”  
The pleasure is overwhelming, and the anticipation is ever better when her teeth graze his neck before sinking in. He screams and she can almost read his mind, the feedback loop of pleasure between the both of them it enough to knock her off her rhythm with his blood in her mouth and he cock in her. She comes with a start her entire body bowing as she chases pleasure desperately and blindly. 

He bites her back when they fuck next, his mouth soft and the flash of pain is so unexpected it feels amazing. Her Alpha brain preens and postures, every instinct alive and dancing.

When they're lying curled up next to each other nose to nose on the floor of his cage with his jacket draped over the both of them, he traces her face under her fingers and believes ever stupid story he's ever heard about bonding being sacred. And then gets angry because if it’s so fucking special you should only do it with the person you're meant to be with. And the thought of this girl bonded to some stupid rando because of a fucking court order hurts him. He imagines passing on the street, both bonded to other people and not even looking at each other and he wants to cry. 

She says it before he even needs to, “So...” She trails a hand down his chest and he breathes into her neck, tongue lapping at the bite, “Mates huh?”

Philip shrugs, “Seems meant to be in my opinion.” He laces their fingers together. “You're dope.” He gives her a smile that’s far too big but it doesn’t matter because he likes her so so so much. 

She giggles, “You're equally dope.”

Philip nestles closer into her warmth, breathing in the Alpha scent and preening under her attention. He can feel his body physically settle at her scent. “I'm so glad it's you.” He says. His voice sounds hoarse but this is a big deal. He's so glad it’s her it physically hurts. She’s a choice. 

She pulls him in even closer, “I'm so glad it’s you too.”

The silence lasts and Philip is pretty sure he dozes for a while, out and dreamless before starting awake. His body is so soft, so pliant but he can still feel the metal against his skin. Still feel the cold of the recycled air conditioning. It makes him anxious; he wants to be home in his warm bed cuddling his gorgeous mate. He doesn’t want to be in this cage. The bars loom and his breathing quickens painfully. Theodosia makes a soothing noise in the back of her throat and runs a hand down his back.  
“It’s okay baby, It’s okay darling I’m here I’m here I’m here.”

“Where're the guards? Isn't anyone on overnight duty? And don't they have security cameras or anything?” Philip’s neck twists painfully as he attempts to look at the door.

The girl laughs, “Now you think of it.” She shakes her head fondly, “They completely switch off during the night. Cameras off. And I bet that guard isn’t gonna wake up for anything.”

Philip sighs, “I don't even wanna ask but is that even legal?”

The girl shrugs, “Might as well be? There's no accountability here. I mean both times I was here I was the only one.”

“Until I get dragged in and start yelling about how much life sucks?”  
“Yup, until that exact moment.” She smirks at him.

He can't help but smiles back because god he thinks he loves her? Or is that just the oxytocin? All the good post sex stuff drawing them together and the throbbing mating bite on his neck.

He reaches up to trace a finger around it. “I’m really happy”. He says, almost as a confession. “I’m really happy but I’m also scared because I’m so happy. No way could I ever be happier than I am right now.”

She nuzzles him, “I can think of a few ways to make you happier.” And her smile is coy and sexy and filled with the kind of promise for a future that Philip has never been able to fully imagine. 

His heart swells and maybe all those years of omega oppression and rude alphas and assumptions were okay if they led to her. Full of that kind of scary happiness he dozes again and he can feel her breathing evening out too. 

They sleep until he suddenly hears the clang of the door opening and he jolts awake and wow where the fuck is he and why is he naked and who's this girl and what is happening. Theo sits up immediately and drags him behind her, her naked body coils and he knows she’s preparing to fight of a threat.

There’s a threat. His omega brain supplies uselessly. Alpha is protecting you. 

Philip snarls just as Theo does and he knows how they must look. Wrecked with massive ass bite wounds on their necks, naked and aggressive.

The guard who's walked in stops and back-peddles and Philip feels a weird sort of self-satisfied haze come over him. Yeah be afraid. My alpha is gonna fuck you up.

The guard grabs a walkie talkie and yammers something into it. Philip hears the crackle of static and again everything feels so near but so far. The girl is still wrapped around him. She’s trying to shield his nakedness from view he realises and feels weirdly touched. It’s the kind of thing that would have annoyed him not even 24 hours ago but now he likes it so so much. He wants to know how possessive she can get, what her eyes will look like when she snaps, how she’ll fuck him when she’s jealous. 

The guard's left to get backup or something and Philip's just placing his jacket over her shoulders (gentleman-like) when three more guards come in. They've got tasers and one of them is carrying what looks like a tranquilliser gun.

“Seriously? Isn't that over kill? We're just a newly mated couple here.” Theo looks irritated but he can tell she’s eying the tasers distastefully. When he grips her hand she smiles at him and it strikes him suddenly that she’s worried for him. 

When they finally get led out of the holding cell they on uncomfortable plastic chairs while the guards debate among themselves. Obviously two people breaking out of their cages and being mated while in holding isn't exactly common. 

Philip wonders what he's gonna tell his parents. Would they be upset he ran away and got mated to some rando instead of their candidate or would they just be pleased he’s mated in general. He doesn’t really have enough energy to care about their reaction right now. There’s a bone-deep exhaustion that’s come to compliment the thrumming under his skin. Overall, he has a terrible headache. Why should he even give a shit? After the whole “mate him to our friend's kid to stop him from sleeping around” thing why the fuck should he give a shit about their opinion. They should be relieved. Theo is fucking perfect. Way better than they could have hoped for a slut like him. 

Theo is currently sliding a hand up and down his leg in a gesture that is simultaneously soothing and also really fucking sexy. She’s got her fingers curled around the inside of his thigh when one of the policemen come over to tell her that her dad has arrived to collect her.  
The panic sets in almost immediately and Philip can’t help the way his heart jackrabbits crazily, she can’t leave. She can’t leave him alone. She can’t she can’t. He’s breathing a little harder and he can tell Theo’s thoughts are sliding along the same route because her eyes are hard and she’s baring her teeth a little as she surveys the policeman. 

If the man’s intimidated he doesn’t show it. Theo turns to Philip and strokes a hand down his face carefully. “You’re mine now.” She says and she says it slowly. For all that it’s exactly the kind of bullshit Alpha thing Philip would have scoffed at before now it calms him almost immediately. It terrifies him a little how much control she has over him. 

“Yeah I know.” Theo starts a little when he says it and a deep flush works its way up her neck. She ducks her head and he can smell her pleasure. Her satisfaction at that statement. It occurs to him suddenly that he might hold as many cards as she does. 

“Yes well, I mean that you and I are bonded now. So legally you don’t need your parents to take you home.” She’s wording it very carefully. Trying to make sure it doesn’t come across as ownership but Philip knows enough to know that legally he belongs to her- but she belongs to him too. If Theo gets arrested for any more aggression orders it’ll be him that has to sign off on her. The moment they bonded they became adults, entities separate from their own families. Even at 18 Philip still wasn’t a legal adult in all senses, not until now with Theo’s teeth marks in his neck. Maybe that would hurt more if it wasn’t her looking up at him with those deep brown eyes.

“So legally,” Theo continues, “You could come home with me and my dad right now.”

Philip gets it and fuck he doesn’t want to be separated from her for any longer than necessary. The bond between them is pulsing slightly, like it’s alive. It feels a little raw and not entirely stable enough to just leave. But at the same time Philip still loves his parents. Still wants to see them. Still wants even though he doesn’t really know what it is he wants. 

“Yeah, I know, but I should see my parents. I should talk to them.”

Theo nods at that and he notices how her scent flares with disappointment and how her shoulders droop.  
“That’s fair.” She grabs a piece of paper and a pen from one of the policemen standing around and scrawls down her address and a number. “But please, don’t keep me waiting.” There’s an edge of desperation to her that Philip likes. He likes seeing her desperate because it makes him feel less weak. 

He nods. “Wouldn’t dream of leaving a lady waiting longer than strictly necessary.” His voice lowers into something husky. 

“You should by now know I’m no lady.” Theo’s voice curls itself around his spine and he can feel himself getting hard. Fuck, he needs to keep it under control. Theo flutters her lashes at him. “Who knows what I could do if left to my own devices.”  
“I’d expect you’d take matters into your own hands.” Philip’s mouth is running away from him. And he is living for it. 

Theo’s eyes are dark and she blows a kiss at him as she sashays out he hips swinging perhaps more than strictly necessary. Philip’s mouth waters slightly but as soon as the door closes and she’s gone it feels as though his whole body is shrinking into itself. His chest feels too small.  
Wait wait come back. He wants to scream. Please please don’t leave.  
He curls into a ball as best he can on the uncomfortable chair while the panic hovers. He ducks his head in between his knees and breathes deep. He can actually still smell Theo on his skin and it’s the most comforting thing to him right now. He keeps breathing and one of the policemen brings him a glass of water and a banana. 

Eventually his parents arrive. 

“Philip Hamilton?”  
He nods, “Yeah that's me.”  
“Your parents are here to collect you. You are no longer an unbonded Omega and therefore there should be no problem with you being out and about without a chaperone or a pass as long as you comply with formal requests to see your binding bite.” Philip bristles as he says this because honestly? That law is fucking archaic and while being bonded is awesome because his bond mate is awesome that doesn't mean that bonding is the be all and end all. But it’s not this guy’s fault so Philip sucks it up and stands slightly shakily. 

The walk feels like it’s both towards his execution and also the gates to heaven. It’s a weird combo, one that doesn’t help the trembling in his hands.

His parents are both pacing, he can see them through the glass panel in the door at the end of the hall and they look worried.

“Surprise?” Philip opens with as he steps out into the reception area in front of the exit and two sets of eyes zero in on the massive ass bite mark on his neck.  
His dad takes a breath and steps forward, “Philip.” He reaches forward to hug him but stops short and Philip knows he can smell the alpha pheromones all over him. “Fuck Philip, we’re so sorry. We never should have let this happen.” His dad looks close to tears. 

His mom doesn’t have the Alpha instinct that would scream foreign alpha as soon as she scents him so she reaches forward and envelops him in a hug. “Oh baby, we’re so sorry so so so sorry.” She crying, “We tried to come get you last night but they wouldn’t tell us where you wereyou’re your father was calling everyone but the station was closed and oh god we’re sorry so so sorry.”

Philip calms, an apology is more than he could have hoped for. Or at least it would have been okay if they stopped talking. 

His dad starts to babble, “If only you hadn’t run then you would be with Georges right now and not in this whole mess but don’t worry Philip we’ll try something anything to void this bond it’ll be okay you won’t have to stay bonded to whatever knothead managed to get to you in the cells.” His dad’s voice gets higher and angier here, “I’m going to sue whoever’s in charge into the ground. How dare they place unbonded omegas and alphas in the same holding areas and not provide adequate protections how the fuck was this allowed to happen I swear Philip someone’s going to pay..” His dad is working his way into fury and Philip can feel the anger and it’s such a contrast to the way his stomach drops to the floor he almost laughs. His dad is mad about entirely the wrong thing and it’s just so so ironic that they worry about him being potentially assaulted in jail when they were completely fine with handing him off to someone with no thought to his feelings then. 

“I don’t want to void it.” Philip says. He’s exhausted and can’t bring himself to argue, to shout and scream and argue. “It’s fine. Can we go.”

His parents exchange a worried look but his mother says “Okay baby.” And takes his hand to lead him out. 

Once they’re in the car Philip closes his eyes and lets himself cry silently. At some point he must fall asleep. 

When he wakes up it’s his mother shaking him awake. “We’re home baby.” She whispers as though if she speaks louder he’ll freak out.  
To be fair he’s already freaking out because he can feel this weird hole in his chest where Theo is meant to be. Her absence fucking hurts and Philip can feel himself shaking like he’s some fucking junkie going into withdrawal. 

As he looks into her beautiful kind face Philip has never been so alternatively sad and angry at the same time. His parents legit made plans to bond him to someone else and he was so so so lucky he found Theodosia. Because they're meant to be mates and so compatible and he could have missed all of this. He could have missed the way she feels and smells and sounds and is. He wonders distantly if he would have felt the same about the dipshit his parents chose, and that thought is fucking terrifying.  
But what makes him want to start crying again is that his mother doesn’t get it. She doesn’t get what she did. She doesn’t understand and after the past few weeks Philip isn’t sure his mother will ever understand him again. 

He makes up his mind the second he gets out of the car. 

The house is quiet. His siblings aren’t around which is weird. Must be with an aunt. Must be keeping them away from damaged Philip. A bad influence his Aunt Angelica had warned his parents quietly, he heard her that night. 

His parents linger in the entrance but he outpaces them and goes to his room. He sits down on his bed.  
'I'm your son!' He wants to scream. 'I'm your son and you almost threw away any chance of me ever being happy for stupid archaic societal standards!'

His phone is still on his desk where he left it and he picks it up and looks up Theo’s address on citymapper, cradling the small slip of paper like it’s manna from heaven. Which he supposes in a way it is. His body sings out for his bond mate. His mind is starting to disintegrate. He can feel it fracture for not being around her which tells him that he needs to go now.  
He needs and shower but settles for a new t-shirt and jeans. His head hurts a little like dehydration, but he doesn’t care he grips his phone and walks out of his room. His childhood bedroom. 

His parents are still talking quietly yet spiritedly in the entry-way but they stop when they see him.  
“Philip.” His father smiles though it looks awkward and insincere. “We have a lot to discuss.”

He cuts his father off, “I’m going to my bondmate.” 

“Philip, please baby think about- ”

“No, this is what you wanted wasn’t it.” That stops his mother short.

“Please Philip, you don’t have to leave we can talk about this.” His father is pleading now but Philip wants Theodosia. She’s all he wants. And he can barely think of anything else. His gets that on some level the blinkered feeling is biological and that it’s definitely not logical he should talk to his parents but he can’t. He literally can’t. 

“I want my bondmate. This is what you wanted. Please leave me alone.” He doesn’t think he’s ever heard his voice sound so detached. 

Philip brushes past them and they don’t even try to stop him. A part of him knows that it’s because he’s right. Legally his parents have no more power. Philip can finally dictate his own life. His dad the bigshot lawyer knows that better than anyone. 

But that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt when walks out the door.


	2. Everybody hates me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Philip wishes he wasn't still so angry all the time.

Philip takes the train from Harlem to the West Village and it actually takes kinda ages because one of the lines is delayed and ugh but that's fine. He doesn’t feel ready to vibrate out of his own skin anymore, away from the scent of his dad, which he didn’t realise was so problematic, the foreign alpha klaxton has quieted in his brain. Theo and him play twenty questions and the weird fog in his mind had receded slightly seeing the little typing bubbles appear on his phone screen. It’s weird how someone can feel so safe when he knows so little about her. He knows (down to his bones) that Theo and him are forever, but that’s easy to say when they’ve spent less than 12 hours total in each other’s company. He knows he likes he, but does he actually like her? 

He reads over the texts and smiles at her favourite colour and foods and subjects and her plans. She’s weirdly exactly the kind of girl he would have had a crush on at school, exactly the kind of girl he’d fantasise about in maths. He didn’t like to fuck with alphas that much (not his first choice, too dangerous when it came to rut and way too possessive sometimes, all slaves to biology at the end of the day) but he could imagine approaching her at a party and stumbling with her into a spare bedroom after too many beers. But that’s not what Theo would have wanted. Theo was a good girl (mostly), she wouldn’t have been down to fuck with some rando omega at a party. Well…. that would be at first but he would work his magic, flirt with her at school, spend afternoons chatting quietly over homework at the library. He can imagine falling in love with her slowly, starting this as a quest to get laid and ending it… ending it bonded he supposes. Not too different with how it is right now.   
Though, there had been loads of people that he could have bonded with. Who says she would have been the one. 

What they have feels so new. Too new to push but at the same time it feels as old as the concept of mating itself. So stable as though nothing could ever tear them apart and he doesn't know how to describe it. The bone deep feelings of contentment when he's thinking about her. As if this is his whole life worked out.

He leans back in his seat and thinks that maybe it is. Maybe this could be his whole life worked out.  
Everything seems to finally have slotted into place with her there. Mating makes sense, the dynamic makes sense, his future makes sense, classifications finally start speaking to him and he can feel this weird throbbing dread and restless hum that had settled under his skin since he had first been classified when he was eleven (early bloomer the doctor said) liquidate itself and flow out the tips of his fingers. This was the hum that made him wink at Alphas on the train and blow kisses at Betas at school and hold other Omega's hands. But it’s gone. He doesn't feel that tick tick tick of time running out- instead he feels as though everything has righted itself and finally the foundations that he's been tiptoeing on while they threatened to collapse and bury him are strong enough to stand on. 

It’s an incredible feeling.

Is this what mating is always supposed to feel like? Is it just Theo?

He closes his eyes briefly, lulled by the rocking of the train. He can imagine him and Theo fifty years on. Old. Maybe even with a few pups of their own. Maybe…   
He no longer has to walk alone. And that is the most incredible feeling there is. He's no longer alone. 

An alpha sits opposite him on the train. Unmated by the scent and hot as fuck. Her short cut hair is spiked and her leather trousers gleam slightly under the fluorescent lighting. She purses her berry stained lips and leans back with her earbuds in and this is Philip's cue. This is the moment he'd take the empty seat next to her and smile, maybe show a bit of neck and that would be it because if he's gonna spend his life as a fuck toy he might as well fuck who he wants to. And fuck as many people as he can.

He can picture doing it. Picture the way this Alpha's nostrils will flare and her lips will quickly upturn before she leads him off the subway back to her place or put her number into his phone. He could do it. Do it so easily. Prove that no one, no bond, owns him. 

But he can't. The thought of being with anyone but Theo is nauseating and he knows if he does it'll hurt Theo and that's equally as unforgivable. An upset Theo is a kind of kryptonite and god fucking damnit he gets why people use the bond to keep others in line. How the fuck would he ever be able to step out of line with the threat of Theo’s displeasure. 

He remembers how his mother reacted when she found out about Maria Reynolds and his parents don't even have the Alpha-Omega bond but his mom still screamed like her heart was shattering.

So no.

The Alpha doesn't even look his way which is weird because most of the time he gets stares everywhere he goes. Young ripe fertile unmated Omega without a chaperone. It’s easier to hide the lack of chaperone in the big city and no one ever really asks to see his pass but even so.   
Then Philip remembers the healing bite on his neck and it’s basically a big ass red tattoo on his forehead that screams FUCKING TAKEN DIPSHITS.  
Well that's convenient.

The girl gets off the stop before him and Philip breathes out an almost sigh of relief because really? What the fuck was he thinking. What the fuck was he thinking.

He gets off and walks down to sixth street. He's feeling almost giddy because he wants to see her again so so so badly, the anticipation builds and crests before he’s even walked up to the steps. It’s pitched like the sweetest form of ecstasy. By the time he actually makes it to the front door of the colonial style brownstone he's practically vibrating with excitement. He's just lifted his hand up to knock when the door flies open and he's face to face with Theo's dad a.k.a. Mr Burr a.k.a. He doesn't even know what to class Mr Burr as to him. 

“Philip.” Mr Burr greets him.

“Mr Burr, um Sir.” What is he supposed to call this man?

“You can call me Aaron. You're part of the family now. Come in.”

Philip follows Aaron (?) into the house.   
He leads him to a spacious kitchen. It's got a large wooden table in the middle of the room and the cupboards are all very rustic and homely. They even have all those big jars that are labelled “pasta” and “cereal”. It's amazing. It's so organised. Like a show kitchen. Like one of those window kitchens from those fancy home stores made real. With a shelf of cookbooks and everything. What the fuck has he walked into. 

Aaron makes him a mug of herbal tea and gestures for him to sit down at the table.   
The man watches Philip cradle his hot mug and blow steam off the top before speaking.

“So, Theo's keeping mum on most of the details but I would like to know what actually happened. Care to enlighten me?” Aaron's giving him full eye contact and there's a niggling scent that Philip can't quite identify and it’s so faint but it's one of those things that will annoy him relentlessly until he figures out what it is. What is it?

The mention of Theo however is like a jolt of electricity. 

“Is she here? Can I see her?” Philip whips his head around to stare up the stairs he can see beyond the kitchen door. Already being in her house with her scent pervading every inch of furniture is making him feel so much better, so much calmer but he still wants to see her so so badly. 

“My daughter’s in the shower right now. But rest assured she’s excited to see you too.” 

Aaron smiles as him and it’s almost warm.   
“So, how did you two get talking.” He prompts. 

“Oh! Well, we were both pretty angry for obvious reasons.” Aaron raises an eyebrow at him and yeah maybe they aren't obvious reasons because Aaron doesn't actually know anything about him. He can fill that bit in himself. “And she reached through the bars to touch me for comfort. I mean just in general I think she wanted comfort too but y'know Omega stuff.” 

He doesn't know if Aaron would actually know how much he craved touch as an Omega and how much he felt the need claw at his throat when he wasn't in contact with someone else. It's such a stereotypical Omega thing (touch craving) that he's almost ashamed to admit it but hey. It's the truth and he feels like Aaron isn't gonna judge him on this one. 

“So yeah she reached out through the bars to touch me and I went to touch her and as soon as our skin met I went into heat” Philip doesn't really want to go into too much detail. It's so dumb because he hates concept of heat. The idea that all his sexual autonomy can be ripped away from him in one single move. He hates the idea of it so fucking much. That no matter what he does he can never escape his stupid base omega instincts. He'll never be more than his biology. 

Philip shrugs, “She went into rut at exactly the same time and she broke through the cuffs and the cages to get to me and yeah we bonded right there.” Thinking back on it gives Philip that slight twinge of shame because he has preened like a fucking pet when he saw how strong his Alpha was. And how capable she was. And how he just lay back and let her do all the work of getting to him.

“Ah, so you went into an induced heat when you touched?” Aaron is still drinking his tea but he looks more engaged than Philip's ever seen him and fair enough Philip hasn't exactly seen him all that much yet but there’s a special gleam in his eye. 

Philip nods, “Yeah.”

“Looks like you were meant to be.” Aaron is smiling now and he's looking at Philip so warmly it's actually really nice. It may just be the tea and the kitchen and the massive homely pots staring at him but he feel... right. This feels right.

“Yeah, guess so.”

“You know Philip. I experienced the same thing with my mate.”

Philip's head snaps up from his tea, “Really?”

“Yes, when we touched it was as though a whole new world had opened up.” Aaron smiles down into his tea, “It was very special. There are very few bonds that are meant to be. Most people settle because of the benefits bonding gives.”

Philip nodded because yeah. Once you were bonded everything changed as unfair as it was.

Aaron sighs, “I never wanted Theo to settle because I was lucky enough not to have to. But I could see the walls closing in and I could almost see my beautiful, spirited daughter locked into a relationship with someone she could never be happy with.”

Philip is entirely surprised t the snarl that rips its way out of his mouth. Surprised and mortified because he's Philip Hamilton, not some possessive knothead. But the thought of Theo bonded to anyone else makes him want to scream. 

Aaron continues heedlessly, “As an Omega I understand the position you must have been in. Thankfully for tragic reasons I was never in the position you were, though I doubt I would have been brave enough to try and break free. I admire you greatly for that.” Theo must have explained his sitch to him then. And that feels so good. So good to hear some approval. 

Then it hits him. Philip's breathe catches in his throat because that's what the scent is. Aaron is an Omega. Theo's dad is one of the two male Omega's Philip has ever met and one that Philip can actually talk to. He gets it. The relief hits so strong it's palpable.

When he meets Aaron's eyes again it's as if he's being reintroduced him again. It's amazing.

“You're an Omega?” Philip tries to keep the obvious excitement out of his voice but he can't help it.

“Yes.”

“But, wait. I can kinda smell you? Like not strongly or anything but if you're mated I shouldn't really be able to smell anything right? Or is that an Omega thing? I've never really spent any time with any other older Omegas before...” Philip is trying so hard to reign it in but he can't really.

Aaron smiles at him and it's a knowing smile but also sad, “Unfortunately my mate passed away some years ago. Since I never took another the mating bond still holds though not as strongly as it would if she were still here.”

Philip nods, the gravity eludes him for the moment but he still feels a twinge of sympathy. “That really sucks. I'm so sorry you had to go through that.”

“Thank you. I was thinking of going out to get something for dinner.” Aaron checks his watch, “I'll be back in a few hours.”

Then he gets up, puts his mug in the sink and squeezes Philip on the shoulder before he leaves. And that touch makes Philip curl in on himself because Omega contact is what he needs. He's never had it but always knew how much he kinda needed it. In a family of Alphas and Betas its not really something that ever happens, and his siblings are tactile but occasionally when Philip gets the urge to burrow dow in his bed with a pile of other people for days on end it’s not an option.

Philip checks his phone and snorts. It's only eleven am. Dinner, seriously? But he's alone in the house with Theo so yeah. That's kinda a dream come true.

Aaron is pretty cool, not really the warmest dude he's ever met but he's cool. Thank god he's cool.

Philip quickly makes his way upstairs. The house is nice. It's built tall and thin with the staircase as the centre point. It's a lot of room for downtown tbh and follows her scent to the attic space with no issue.   
He makes his way up the stairs passing the master bedroom and Aaron's study and a guest room before making his way to Theo's room.

He can hear the shower running in her en suite bathroom (sweeeet) so he decides to plop himself on her bed and wait. The bed smells like her. The whole room smells like her and he toes off his shoes before settling back in the duvet and closing his eyes. He only wants to rest for a few seconds but blanketed by her warm scent and feeling safer than he ever has before, he falls sleep.

When he wakes up it's dark in the room and he watches the shadows cast by Theo's desk lamp dance across the walls. Through the window he can see the orange glow of the houses opposite and he's never felt so safe, so peaceful, so well rested and so happy. More than happy its content. He feels completely pliant as if everything is okay in the world. It's such a foreign feeling it shocks him for a second and when he finally lifts his head he sees Theo in an armchair in the corner reading. 

When he catches her eye she smiles happily and moves to the bed to lie next to him.

“I didn't want to wake you. We both didn't really get any sleep last night.” She waggles her eyebrows at him and he snorts.

“It was a- oh what did you call it over message? - a “crazy” night?” He nudges her hip with his and she doesn't respond just buries her face deeper into his chest. She breathes in deep, these deep deep pulls of air that Philip can feel tickle at his skin. He starts to get the feeling she's missed him just as much as he's missed her and that's gratifying. 

“My dad's home. He was surprised we didn't have sex on every surface of the house while he was gone.”

Philip laughs, “Yup. Instead you read and I napped. Newly bonded couple right there.” He pauses for a second, "You could have woken me up y'know. I wouldn't have minded if you wanted to... y'know." He's not really sure what he's trying to say. That he would be fine with Theo waking him up for sex or fucking him in his sleep? That's not really what he's trying to convey but he suddenly feels like he's on uncertain ground and as much as all his instincts are cooing that she's safe that she's the one and that he should be fucking ecstatic to wake up with her sitting on his face... he wants to be more than an omega but right now he feels as though all he can do is play the role perfectly. 

It hits him that he doesn't know her. Not at all. 

Theo burrows in closer and he curves his body around her.

"I wouldn't wake you up for sex." She pauses, "Well okay MAYBE in certain situations but only if you're cool with it." She stiffens a little and pulls away in a way that has Philip scrabbling to grab her, "I'm not some fucking knothead." 

Philip feels like he's not sure where he lost it and he feels this desperate urge to get the conversation back on track, "No no I'm not saying that you are." The urge to show his neck at his alpha's displeasure is starting to build into a dull pain behind his eyes. "I'm just saying." He's not sure what he's saying to be honest. 

Theo pulls away completely and sits cross legged across from him. Philip pulls himself up so he's leaning against the headboard. He feels off kilter in a way that he hasn't really since Theo bit him, there's fear in there somewhere but he's not really gonna look too deeply at it right now. He's desperate for Theo to smile at him and tell him it's okay. 

She takes a deep breath, "Okay. Let's talk like mature people. We can do that."

"Totally." The pressure eases a little. "Look," Philip starts because he needs to say this, "I'm sorry I implied you were gonna like assault me or something, but we don't really know each other and I don't really know you well enough to really tell tbh."

Theo nods, he can sense her displeasure and slight hurt at that but she sucks it back into her body admirably, "That makes sense, perfectly reasonable. I know we don't really know each other but I just wanna say that you can trust me when I tell you I'm not gonna do anything."

All the tension eases out of Philip. Can it really be this easy? 

"I don't mind if you wake me for sex. It's cool, I'm sure I'll wanna have sex with you whenever but I just want a choice." 

Theo nods calmly at that. "I understand." She looks a little sheepish suddenly, "I'm sorry I didn't mean to get so aggressive I just don't like that you think I'm the kinda person who would do that." 

"Nah it's fine. You don't know me either. I mean, I could totally be the one forcing you into sex." 

She giggles a little and the tension has completely dissipated at this point. He feels like he's back on firm ground. 

"I mean you could try." And suddenly she looks completely serious, "But you wouldn't be able to." Her eyes go a little distant then, "I know I have a lot of responsibility as an Alpha and I'll do my best to live up to that." Philip finds himself, bizarrely, thinking of Spiderman. He gets the sense that this has been something drilled into Theo from birth and it's his first real thought that maybe it isn't only omegas that get the raw end of the deal. 

"I'm sure you'll do fine." He reaches across to grab her hand, "You've been amazing so far."

She smiles this little shy smile. "Yeah?" 

"Yeah! Legit, wow communication is on point." 

She smiles wider then, "I'm trying," She concedes, "I don't really know what I'm doing."

Philip pulls her down to lie next to him and marvels at how easily she comes. Their first fight, huh. Well, kinda fight. 

He feels sleepy again as soon as she's cuddled up next to him. That probably explains his next slurred phrase. “I like you. You're great.” He doesn't have time to feel embarrassed because she answers immediately. 

“So are you.”

And they stay like that. Philip has his phone on silent and he doesn't want to know what kind of texts his fam are sending so he doesn't bother to check. He just lies there with Theo and before he knows it he falls asleep again.

When he reawakens Theo is still asleep and its groggily that he checks his phone for the time ignoring the thousand and one voicemails and texts on the screen. It's four in the morning and he's thirsty enough to consider leaving bed.

He gently extracts himself from her side and covers her with the duvet. The desk lamp isn't on anymore so he assume Aaron must've been up to turn it off at some point. The thought of Aaron seeing the two of them sleeping together (nesting together) doesn't really bother him because Omega instincts. Philip guesses he would feel threatened if it was anyone else but it's Aaron a fellow Omega and that's kinda messed up actually.....

Stupid biological instincts.

Philip has to pull up his phone torch to help him navigate the pitch-black house and even so he nearly trips on the stair at least twice. It's weird because this whole experience is comparable to wandering a strangers’ house in the middle of the night because technically he's only known Theo for a few hours (maybe a full 24hours at most) and she already feels like home. Her house doesn't feel strange to him. It feels as though he's been here for years because her scent is everywhere. Infused into the walls and the furniture and he feels so safe. No one can hurt him here. His alpha would kill them. He doesn't think about what he would do if his alpha tried to hurt him. 

Her scent isn't layered with anything threatening, just her dad's soft, discreet pheromones. His mate and her omega father together create this beautiful fabric that Philip just wants to burrow into and purr. 

He makes it to the kitchen with its big open windows. The blinds are shut, and he peeks behind one to look out at the street. It's empty with the orange street lamps still on, illuminating the dark-pavement. It's peaceful. Across the city his family is at home. Maybe they're asleep. Maybe they're thinking about him. He doesn't know if he wants to know. 

Philip shines his phone around to find the light switch and flicks it on to fill the room with golden light. Their lightbulbs are nice. He suddenly realises he wants to make tea. This house must be infecting him because he wants a mug of peppermint tea. Damn.

He starts looking around for mugs and when he final opens the right cabinet he pauses because there's the mug with Aaron on it and Theo also has one and next to their mugs is one with a post-it-note on it. Curious Philip picks it up; the post-it says "Use for Philip tomorrow morning". Philip frowns and peels it off. Underneath the yellow scrap of paper is his name.

PHILIP.

He has a mug. They got him a mug with his name on it and Aaron must've gone to get this while he was out and suddenly Philip can't take it anymore. He slides down the cabinet clutching the mug and starts sobbing. He doesn't know how long he cries for but it feels so good. The door is closed and everyone's asleep and he can cry as loud as he wants and God it hurts so much. This fucking mug. This fucking house with his perfect mate and her omega dad. This house compared to his house which is always so busy and they're people everywhere and sometimes he just wants to be alone and he can't with his parents that don't get what it's like to just want to be able to choose something for yourself when the world tries to deny it to you. Something as arbitrary as who he wants to sleep with and be with and why does he have to be a problem that needs to be fixed by bonding him to someone he doesn't know and would never be happy with. The worst part is he knows his parents love him and they want the best for him but they're just so so so wrong.

He curls up against the terracotta stone of the floor and cries himself out and when he's done he gets up and uses his new Philip mug to make himself some peppermint tea. He doesn't feel so fragile anymore. He feels okay. Shaky but okay. Okay enough to tackle his phone. 

He starts going through the messages. He skips the one from his parents and goes for his friends first. 

Jack: hey Pip where are you I have the geometry test today I need ur guidance  
Jack: if I fail geometry its ur problem. I will officially blame u  
Jack: ur sister was acting super shady when I asked her what's up?  
Jack: I corned Alex and she said u ran away from a bonding dude just call me if u need any help 

Philip couldn't help but smile. It was nice ok. It was nice that there were people that thought him being force bonded was weird and creepy and Jack's offers to help were nice and validating. They kind of proved that it wasn’t him being crazy rejecting the bonding. Like arranged bondings were kind of normal but a little frowned upon and he had a right to run okay. He had a right. 

He shot back a quick message.  
Pip: things were fucking crazy man i'll fill u in when I next see u don't worry im not dead an u'd fail geometry anyway smh

He leaned back in his chair and moved on. He actually had loads of similar messages from some of his other friends at school. Most of his friends were Betas which was nice because they didn't get the dynamic, so they didn't see anything wrong with him sleeping around and being a flirt and they did see something very wrong with arranged bondings. Like protest level wrong. Like sign a petition write to your congressman wrong. 

He shot off a few “I'm not dead, I'm good, thanks for caring.” kind of texts before moving onto his siblings.

William was a baby so no phone there, James also didn't have a phone so it was just Alex Jr. and Angie to deal with but still ugh.

He started with Alex Jr. because he was generally a calm and laid back kinda dude who probably wouldn't freak out over text. Probably.

Alex: u good? Mom and dad don’t know where u r  
Alex: I know this whole bonding thing sucks. sorry  
Alex: call me if u can.  
Alex: every1's freaking out I rly hope ur ok. Text me back.  
Alex: James says he misses u and william does too.  
Alex: I hope ur safe. I'm sorry I didn't fight the bonding before. I'm sorry I was a shitty brother.

And that's weird because Philip's never thought Alex Jr. was a shitty brother, his younger brothers were still classification-less and somehow removed from the behemoth that is his family. 

Alex: Mom and dad r coming to the station for u now. I'll make sure they don't try and bond u off when u get back. Promise. James also promises.

He smiles a little at that message. Alex is at that special age where he’s just transitioning from little kid to older kid and the sincerity is the sweetest thing he’s every heard. 

Alex: r u okay????

Philip didn’t know how to answer without the message becoming his official stance on the issue, so he decided to just answer like a brother and not like somehow who's in the middle of a family crisis.

Pip: hey ur not a shitty brother. i’m fine just need some space. sorry i didn’t mssg back before.

He skimmed past Angie's because his favourite (and only sister) was hot tempered and kinda a dick when it came to the bonding. Like an "I think mom and dad are right, like seriously what were you thinking?" kind of dick. He had hated her viciously at first, every glance at her tinged with betrayal, but now felt nothing but exhaustion.

He ignored everything from Aunt Peggy and Angelica because he didn't want to hear their whole “bonding is awesome!” spiel as well. The past few weeks before the bonding when everything was being arranged had been hell. He had wanted to claw out of his own skin. 

His parents and Aunts had given him so many “for your own good” speeches he thought he was gonna throw up. The few hours he was at school were the only respite he got and even that sucked because all the teachers knew and were watching him and he was so so so fucking angry and sacred all the time. That cocktail of emotions had lurked in the back of his mind even as he tried his best to pretend everything was fine. He honestly didn't believe they would actually go through with it. Well he tried not to believe until they had pushed him into the car all cheerful and pleased with themselves. 

He deleted all the voicemails from his parents. He just didn't want to hear it. He told them he needed space and that was all he needed to say. Everything was too raw for him to really be able to think without screaming. Maybe it wasn't the mature decision to hide but he was sure he deserved some kind of pass for the way he was acting. 

His tea had gone cold but he kept at it. Deleting the texts that even came from his dad's friends (like why, why was EVERYONE involved in his private life all of a sudden???) and his mom’s colleagues and when he was done he sat there and stared at his phone.

How had this all happened. How had it all come to this? One minute he's happily living his life as a sexually liberated teen like every other fucking alpha and beta in this fucking city and the next he's about to be bonded off against his will and then he's in prison and then he's bonded for reals and he's in his bond mate's house which feels more like home than his own has in the past few weeks and months and maybe years and how has everything come to this?

He rests his head against the wood of the table and takes a deep breath. If he dwells too long he'll drive himself crazy.   
Theo has managed to soothe some edges of the lurking panic but he still can't avoid the fact that he's actually bonded now. Bonded to someone he likes of course but actually bonded. In the end they'd still won. His chest burns with a kind of shame because when heat dazed and faced with Theodosia Burr in all her alpha glory he had never even tried to fight it. 

“It's gonna be okay.” He says out loud.

It does make him feel better.

He stands up and goes to the sink, washes his mug and puts it back in the cabinet next to the Aaron and Theodosia mugs and then makes his way upstairs and back into bed with Theo. As soon as he gets onto the bed, she almost subconsciously shuffles towards him and before he knows it, he's been blanketed by her and it's just so good.

He falls asleep almost instantly.


	3. Melted ice cream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maybe Philip can't be more than biology.

When he wakes up the next morning the first thing he can hear is the tap running. It jolts him because there isn’t a bathroom near his room and it takes a second between waking up and waking up that he realises he’s not at home. Nothing comes crashing down, the world doesn’t crumble, he just remembers and thinks “oh”. 

The bathroom door is open and Theo's in there washing her face. It reminds him just how grimy he feels. He still hasn’t showered, and he has dried sweat and come and ugh he should have showered and it suddenly dawns on him with no shortage of horror that he met Theo’s dad for the first time with her dried cum on his thigh. 

He gets off the bed and has a quick once over of her room. Laptop and books piled on her desk. Bookshelf. Nightstand with a reading lamp. Framed prints on the wall. Large leafy plant growing out of a pot in the corner. It’s one of those Instagram-Tumblr perfect inspiration rooms. A show room. A little like the rest of the house actually.   
Her walls are white with yellow accents and the windows are so big and let in so much light. 

He grabs her waist from behind in the bathroom. Burrowing into her and breathing in deep. 

“Hey.” He mumbles into her hair.

“Hey.” She replies before spinning round to kiss him. Philip melts under her touch and keeps his arms around her waist. She threads her hands through his hair and it feels so good as he hums against her lips. She smells fucking amazing and looks fucking amazing he never wants to stop touching her. His mind is spinning. It’s that dazed crossfaded feeling that makes him want to bare his neck and beg her to fuck him against the sink. 

“What's the time?” He asks slightly dazed as they pull away.

“Around 7.30. Bathroom's all yours.” She looks at him kindly but with a hint of teasing, “You should shower though you reek.” Before she skips out of the room. 

“Hey! I smell like you!” Philip calls after her. 

“Whatever I'm gonna go get some breakfast.” But her voice sings with a certain brand of smugness that screams “satisfied alpha”. 

Philip rolls his eyes but he does accept that he kind of stinks. So he strips off his clothes and steps into the shower. He scrubs carefully, washing off the holding cell grime and dried cum and sweat and honestly it is kinda gross. He takes a moment (just one moment) to lean his forehead against the tiled wall of the shower and breathe in deep. Nothing but steam and the smell of his own skin. God, he’s terrified but his instincts are carrying him and for now he needs to do the one thing that he feels most uncomfortable with and that’s let the omega lead him. He doesn’t want to be weak.

When he leaves the shower, he smells like her shampoo and he moisturises with some shit that he finds next to her sink and he loves that he feels clean and pure and not dirty which is how he’d felt for the past few weeks. He wants to stay in the well-lit bathroom forever with the knowledge that Theo is downstairs. He wants to trap this moment where he feels clean and happy and okay. And there’s no fear or future. Just absolute certainty in his purpose, which is to please his alpha. 

But instead he goes to her room and find a pair of baggy sweatpants that barely fit him and a way oversized t-shirt. He should have packed a bag when he left his house, instead he has to make do. He’s sure she won’t mind him wearing her clothes, in fact the omega makes it’s very clear that she’ll love it (this is proved when she sees him, and her eyes widen slightly and her lips curl imperceptibly). 

He makes it to the kitchen where her dad's sitting at the table on his laptop. He nods at Philip as he sits down and passes him his mug (it still makes him feel kinda emotional) of tea. Theo plops down a second later with a bowl of berries. She offers it to him, and Philip pops a strawberry into his mouth. It strikes him then as he chews that the Burrs kinda have money. And he realises that this is so much easier because of it, they have enough space to house him and enough food to feed him and fuck the logistics are so much easier when money isn’t an object. 

It’s a sobering thought.

“What classes do you normally have on a Friday?” Theo's dad asks as he scrolls and types and simultaneously looks down at his phone. Like damn that is some multi-tasking right there.

“Um... English and Gym. That's it I think. Oh! And study hall but that's not really a class.” She shrugs and her dad nods.

“Okay, well I'll email in saying you won't be at school today. We've got a lot to do.”  
He shuts his laptop and turns to Philip who tries to swallow his mouthful of blueberries as subtly as possible.

“We need to go to the nearest bonding centre to get the two of you registered and Philip I do need a proper introduction to your parents.”

“Um... okay. I don’t know if I really want to see them.” Philip starts to sweat a little and Theo cards her fingers through his hair to calm him. 

“Well, I can always meet them on my own if that’s an issue.” Aaron doesn’t pause as he asks, “What are your parents names.”

“Alexander Hamilton and um”

“Eliza Schuyler-Hamilton.” Aaron finishes, looking up from the devices with a look on his face. 

“Uh yeah, how did you know that?”

“I actually do know your parents. Your father and I, we actually served together in the army. We also worked together for a period.” He pauses as if in thought. “I suppose we’ve already been introduced.

Theo blinks hard and talks when Philip feels a little like he can’t. “Wait what. Dad you already know Philip’s parents?”

Aaron hums a yes turning back to his laptop.

“Okay. That's cool.” Philip nods to himself. “Cool cool cool cool.” He doesn’t know why the revelation is so disturbing to him. He had pictured Theo as existing in this bubble completely separate from (well it sounds dramatic to say but) his old life. 

“It can wait, to be honest I'm mostly glad that now that she's bonded Theo can no longer be pulled up for aggression orders.” He reaches across the table to squeeze Theo’s hand. 

“True.” Philip agrees. “That's a plus.”

Theo laughs, “Time to get down and debate.”

Philip nods seriously, “I can think of a few people for you to yell at.”

Theo grins, “Maximum eye contact obviously.”

Aaron smiles, “Okay. And Philip,” Philip turns towards him, “If you want to move in and build your nest here that's completely fine as well. I'll support you if that's your decision.”

Philip blinks, “Build a nest?”

“Yes.” Aaron frowns, “Haven't you been feeling the urge for a while?”

“To do what exactly?”

“To build a nest. A small space where you can share contact comfort with others.” Aaron is starting to look a little disturbed, “Have you never done that before?”

Something clicks in Philip's brain, “Oh!”   
He mentally catalogues, that's why I always wanted to drag my duvet into my closet and huddle in there. An embarrassing childish urge suddenly makes sense. 

“It's the nesting instinct that Omegas get when they reach maturity.” Aaron just looks concerned, “Did no one explain that to you?”

Philip shrugged, “None of my family are Omegas and I never really thought about it that much.”

“I see.” Aaron thinks it over, “Well now that you've bonded, you're going to get the instinct to nest with Theodosia often. Mostly just hold her under a blanket perhaps. It's perfectly natural and I completely encourage it.”

Philip nods, “Okay. I didn't know that was an actual biological thing. I thought that was just like a weird personal preference.” Philip thinks back to all those times over the years he's hidden under his bed and in his closet and how when he was really young he used to pile all his stuffed toys on his bed at once and nestle in them. He should have paid more attention in health class.

Aaron shakes his head, “After I met Theodosia, my late wife” he adds for clarification and Philip lets out an “ooooh” because huh Theo and her mom have the same name and he kinda knew Theo's mom wasn't around but now he's knows for sure and he just wants to put his face in Theo's neck and snuffle at her.   
“I would drag her off to nest almost constantly.” He smiles, “It's a special experience sharing a nest with someone you care about. Before she passed and after Theo was born we used to nest together as a family.” 

Philip is starting to sense a thematic difference in the way Aaron treats his classification and the dynamic to the way Philip or even Philip’s father and mother and extended family treat it. Aaron acts as thought everything is a special moment, as though every biological instinct is sacred and natural and something to be treasured. Is that what happens when you bond with someone you're meant to be with as opposed to someone you simply like? Is the bond truly deeper than love? What does that mean for autonomy?

His parents aren't meant to be mated. He knows that. Eliza is a Beta and Alexander is an Alpha. While not fundamentally incompatible they aren't meant to be in the biological way an Omega and Alpha are. 

He knows this because his dad cheated on his mom and that shit doesn't happen if you're meant to be mated. Because (he thinks back guiltily to the girl on the train) he's not sure your body or mind would let you. His parents aren't even really bonded. They're married and they bit each other anyway (ever though once his mom confessed it was the most painful moment of her life and she hated doing it to Alexander because it just felt like taking a random bite out of her husband) but they aren't bonded. His dad cheated on his mom with an Omega. What does that say?

Philip's head is a mess but Theo's hand on his thigh is grounding.  
Okay.

“Yeah. I might want to do that then. Move in to build my nest.”

Theo's dad nods, “What're your plans for school?”

“Oh!” Philip brightens because this this he can be proud of, “I applied for deferred entry to Columbia to study comparative literature and society. I applied early decision so I got my acceptance last month.” He beams and Theo beams and Aaron beams. It's just one big happy “yay university!” moment. His Columbia acceptance had been the one bright spot in the past few months. 

“Deferred entry? So, you'll take a year out?” Theo asks.

Philip nods, “Yeah. I wanted to take a year to do some stuff for myself. Take some time out. But now I think I know what I want to spend my year doing.” He smiles again at Theo and then pauses,  
“Wait, I didn't mean it like that. That sounded weird outside my head.”

Theo snorts elegantly, “Well I'm going to Princeton next year not deferred so yeah.” She pauses for a second, “I don't really want to live without you?” She phrases it as a question and Philip gets it immediately.

“Yeah I think we should get a place together or something like that because I don't know how we're gonna spend time away from each other especially for our first year together.”

Theo's dad nods. “Whatever I can do to help just ask.” He turns back to his laptop and then pauses, “Which high school do you go to?”

Philip also pauses at that because he'd almost forgotten about actual school and god what a mess.  
“Um, I go to Harlem Renaissance High.” 

Aaron nods, “Would you want to continue going there?” He asks and oh that's a loaded question but  
Philip doesn't really think about it too hard.  
“Yeah. I've got friends there and I'm involved in extra curriculars there so yeah. I think I'll just stay.”

Aaron nods and Theo leans against him.

Philip takes Theo's hand and he can almost taste his future. How it's gonna be okay.  
Is that feeling even real? Or is it just another biological reaction.

“I should probably go home and get some stuff. I really need some clothes.”   
He's starting to feel this sinking feeling in his gut and as much as he feels his anger at his parents is justified Philip has never been very good at holding grudges. They leave a bad taste in his mouth and honestly Philip just wants to have all this drama behind him. Besides it's his family. People who raised him and all that. And his parents have always been the best. Mostly.

“Want me to come with?” Theo asks and yes yes yes. He never wants her to not come with him so yeah. Obviously.

“Yeah sure.” He's trying to play it cool but she can smell how eager he is anyway so it's a useless bit of effort.

He looks over at Aaron, “When should we go and register our bonding?”

“Well anytime really. You don't strictly need me there. Do you know where the nearest one is?”

Theo nods, “I can google maps it for clarity.”

Aaron swallows another mouthful of tea, “I have a few client meetings today and I will have to spend a fair bit of time in the office. But if either of you need me, I'm just a call or text away. Theo can you give Philip my number?”

“Sure.”

And with a smile Aaron picks up his briefcase and coat and strolls out the door, leaving him and Theo in the kitchen.

“Soo...” She looks at him and the sunlight from the windows is reflecting off her skin and her eyes and she's just so fucking amazing, “I guess I'm seeing your place today.”

“Yeah.” Philip can't even think of a funny quip (shock and horror).

“I want you to smell of nothing but me when we arrive.” She all but purrs and wow Philip's dick really liked that. Which is odd because it's exactly the kind of domineering Alpha bullshit he hates but it's also so hot.

Theo immediately catches on his hesitancy and winces, “Sorry. That sounded super daddy-dom.”

“Nah, don't worry.” Philip is trying to find a way to put into words what he's thinking, “I kinda liked it? I mean I don't like it because it's what I'm supposed to like as an Omega and stuff, but I like you? And I know you aren't like that, so I don't care?” He sighs, “It's dumb because if it was anyone but you, I would be freaking out and mad and offended and stuff, but I don't know.”

“I get you kinda. So, you think it's hot.” She’s smiling at him and she has this wide-open hopeful expression on her face and it suddenly occurs to Philip that she's probably been fighting (and semi-hating) her biological instincts as long as he has. He feels safe with her. Why is he punishing himself? He suddenly has the urge to see how far he can push. This beautiful beautiful girl is all his and he wants to know what she’ll look like when she treats him like her bitch. 

“Yeah it was really hot.” He answers, pauses and then, “Alpha.” He puts just the right amount of breathiness into the word and he sees the way Theo’s expression goes hungry and desperate. She responds by flipping him onto his back on the table in a sudden show of strength and palming a hand over his dick.

“Theeeooo,” He's trying to fight the bubbling moan, “There are windows and there's the street and people and-”

“So what.” Theo breathes over his stomach as she undoes his belt, “I want them to see that you're all mine.”

And there it is. The dominant Alpha is out and if she can let him sometimes be a grovelling Omega then maybe he can let her be an overbearing Alpha. Besides it's hot and why does he feel the need to kink-shame himself.

“Umf.” Philip doesn't really want to argue his point anymore and besides the more he lets himself get lost in the sensations the more he admits he doesn't mind the whole world seeing how beautiful and strong his Alpha is. Other Omegas; read it and weep. He wants her to drag him into Union square and fuck him in broad daylight.

She takes his dick into her mouth fluidly and has him bucking against her as his fingers dig into the table in seconds. He comes embarrassingly quickly with her trailing her tongue around the head and sucking gently on the tip and the knowledge that this is his Alpha. His instincts are almost screaming at him to roll over and submit but he'd rather just go with the flow and see where Theo wants to take this.

After she pulls her mouth off him her grabs her to drag her upwards to kiss him and he can taste his come in her mouth which is equal parts gross and hot. 

He pushes her back against the table and drops to his knees (which feel so right and yeah he accepting it) to get his head under her skirt. He can feel her freeze as he kisses a trail up the inside of her thigh. 

He's good at eating pussy and he's honed his skills over the past few years and now that he’s not being overcome by heat hormones, he can take it slow and show her just how much. Show her just how good her omega can be. He breathes against her clothed cunt and feels her squirm.

He pushes her panties to the side and immediately sets to work burying his face in her. His nose nudges her clit as he licks once twice three times up the seam of her. She has her hands clenched in his longish hair and he licks deeper, sucking on her clit until she screams and comes messily on his face. He ducks back out of her skirt, face sticky and wet.

But he wasn't done yet- pushing her dazed form down more firmly he pushed her top up out of the way (taking the flimsy lace bralette she was wearing with it) and set to work palming her chest. He swirls a nipple with his tongue as Theo lie there half-sobbing. He reaches under her skirt with his hand to slip a finger into her- easy as she was already so wet. 

He felt the rest of the world melt away as he focused entirely on her pleasure entering this weird headspace where he felt like he could judge all her reactions in split second intervals. By the time she came a second time she was panting painfully, and Philip smirked to himself because back when he was a weak unbonded Omega this was where he had first found true power. Hovering over a conquest as they gasped for breath, body utterly pliant because of his actions.

He placed soft open mouthed kissed along her collar bone before nuzzling into her neck. Her hands immediately came up to lace into his hair as he scented along her jaw. She returned the favour nipping gently at his jawline. Well she had gotten her wish he practically reeked of her.

He leaned back as she sat up to scent him more thoroughly. His face felt gross and sticky and as much as he though she was the bomb.com he wasn't really comfortable with wandering around with her pussy juices on his face like some sort of expensive serum.

“I'm gonna rinse off my face.” He said against her shoulder.

“Sure. I'm gonna go change my panties.”

Philip smiled and took her hand as she hopped off the table. Her steps were still a little unsteady and she looked at him completely impressed. “That was one of the best orgasms I've ever had in my life.”

Philip grinned and play flexed his muscles, “I'm a god.” What he wants to say is some embarrassing variation of I’m perfect for you I can be so good for you. But that feels a little too much so he keeps it close. 

In response Theo just laughed.

This was the moment the spell would break. Where she was supposed to ask him where he learnt to do that. This was the moment she was supposed to scream at him for sullying himself with other people. This was the moment she would call him a slut and whore and get mad because what was her Omega doing putting out for someone other than his bond mate.

She didn't though. And what's better Philip was never even fully convinced she would.

They washed up and she grabbed her bag and spritzed her face with this rose water stuff. She even spritzed Philip too after he'd finished rinsing off his face. Philip grabbed his jacked from where it was slung on the back of her desk chair and she reached into her closet to pick one. It felt a little silly to be wearing a pair of weird fitting sweatpants and a t-shirt but he’d seen enough people wearing morph suits on the metro that he felt like no one would bat an eye.   
It was chilly outside but not bitingly cold and as she slipped on her boots and he slid his feet into his shoes he could imagine leaving the house with her like this every morning for the rest of their lives and how did he start to deal in eternity? 

Philip had always been a spontaneous guy. He felt like as an Omega you had to be with the threat of bonding (forced or otherwise) looming just over the horizon. But now he could plan for the future. Theo wasn't a crazy weirdo who was gonna beat him or anything and he could finally relax and start dreaming of the rest of his life.

They sat next to each other on the subway with his head on her shoulder. She was scrolling through Instagram.

“Drop me a follow on insta.” He teased and Theo rolled her eyes.

“Putting out for those likes.”

He gave her his best puppy dog eyes and she laughed as she looked up his handle and tapped the blue follow button.

“Now let's get down in the dm.” He was aware of how ridiculous he was being but this is how she made him feel. Dizzy with happiness but more than that dizzy with possibility.

They spend the rest of the ride in silence as she flips through snapchat and Philip studiously ignores his phone.

By the time they're walking up to his house Philip feels like he's about to vomit. They stop a few meters away from the gate and Theo turns to him.

“We don't have to.” She says softly.

“No.” Philip stops, “Ugh, I just don't know.” Philip stops. He doesn’t even know how to describe how he feels if he walks in and his parents are there. He’s no longer tired but he doesn’t want to fight either. He’s not sure what he’s so scared of. 

Theo is looking at him non-judgementally. “You're worried they'll make you pick. Me or them?”

“It’s so so so fucking dumb but yeah kinda.” Philip winces, “Like they'd be stupid to even try because.” He takes a deep breath, “Because the choice is you. It's always you. It had to be you because of the bond and because of you and because of the biological stuff and I'm not saying that I don't like you or anything.” 

Theo raises an eyebrow at him but at least she isn't punching him for vomiting his feelings. 

“But if they asked me to choose, I would choose you and they’re my family.” He's pleading with her to understand. The fact that its’ not that he has to choose it's that its’ not a choice because of the bond and because he would have to choose her. He wonders if it would feel the same if they're weren't meant to be and compatible and if she was just some random girl he was forced to bond and didn't really like but yeah it would be the same right? Because its biology and his body.

Theo just puts one hand on his face. “You don't have to choose.”

Philip blinks, “What?”

“I said you don't have to choose.” Theo steps forward, closer into his space. “I'm not going anywhere and if they do make you choose, and you choose them everyone in that room will know who you're really choosing.”   
She reaches up to trace the bite, “This isn't going away. It can't go away. We're a family now as scary as it sounds and anyone who has ever been bonded knows the depth of this and how you can't just, can't just choose anyone else.”

“Yeah. I know.” It's terrifying is what he doesn't say. But she knows anyway.

“So you don't have to choose. That's what I'm trying to say. You. Don't. Have. To. Choose.”

She looks him in the eye and he can see what she's trying to give him. He can choose his family.   
She knows.

He sags. “Thanks.”

“Hey, it's not a big deal. They're still your family.”

“And majorly in the dog house.” He mumbles.  
She shoulder bumps him, “You got me to protect you.”

And he remembers her breaking her cuffs and smashing open his cage and his breath catches in his throat. Omega instinct to show his neck alert.

If she picks up on it, she doesn't say anything. Just takes his hand and he leads her up the path and its so familiar and he was here like a day ago but it feels like a whole life has happened in the time he's been away. 

He fishes his key out of his pocket and squeezes her hand harder before unlocking the door. He's not sure what he's expecting but it's silent inside and okay.   
That's kinda disconcerting he supposes? He wasn't really thinking he was gonna be (okay he was) accosted at the door but the house is empty it seems. He lets out a breath. All that hyping up for nothing. But still this is more relaxed.

He leads Theo along the corridor where she peers at the family photographs and glances into each room and he supposes that he has gotten a glimpse into her life in a way that she hasn’t with him yet.

They go up the stairs and he can't help but smile a little as he lets her into his little world. The pile of notebooks on the desk and the bookshelf sagging under its weight. The inside of his head personified. It almost feels as intimate as the sex.

He watches her finger over the books on his nightstand and peek into the dishes of shells and stones on his window-sill (every time they go to the beach he brings half of it back- that's what Angie whined as he filled his pockets with debris). 

She looks at the framed poem hanging on the wall. It was written by a contemporary Omega poet who was describing the way the world looked to her. It wasn't obvious though because the poem was about the circus. She was the trapeze artist, watched by all while everyone wished she would fall and fly in equal measures.

Theo smiles as she reads it. Her eyes pass over the post cards blue-tacked to his wardrobe door. She picks up the scented candle on his nightstand and sniffs it. That's when she notices the scented candle on the windowsill and the on his desk and the one balanced on his bookshelf. She raises an eyebrow at him. “I see you have a candle fetish.”

Philip lets himself leer, “What can I say. It’s all that hot wax...”

Theo laughs like a bell. Clear and loud enough to chase away the lingering cobwebs of fear that had festered and grown in this room while he was under semi-house arrest. She's like spring. Blowing away his very own winter of discontent.

He pulls the overnight bag out of the bottom of the closet and starts throwing clothing haphazardly in it. Theo helps by gathering up a few T-shirts and and pairs of running shorts. She grabs his favourite pair of sweats and remembers socks which he almost forgets.

“My wash stuff is in the bathroom down the hall.” He motions with his hand and Theo nods and wanders off.

She comes back a few minutes later with her arms full of his face wash, deo, shampoo and toothbrush.  
“You can use my body wash and stuff if there isn't enough space for everything in your bag.” She cups her face in her hands, “And obviously my rose water space and moisturiser should work for you.” She winks and he groans.

“I don't even know why you have that rose stuff! What does it even do?”

She spreads her arms wide and lets herself fall on his bed, “Many many things.” She looks around his room again, “Soo… what’s the real reason you have all the candles?”

Philip looks up, “Hmm.. Oh, I guess it's because the smell in this house is always so strong. Like my sister and my dad are both Alphas and it can get a little overwhelming especially when they try and use the voice on me.” 

He winces because yeah, it's embarrassing that he'd do practically everything his little sister said if she used the Alpha voice on him. “So, the smells help paper over their scents.” He pauses, “Thinking back on it, it probably was some kind of nest building by me, I mean making my own space and all that.”

Theo seemed to think over his words, “They used their Alpha voices on you?”

“Tbh I don't even think they realised they were doing it most of the time.” Philip admits. “It was really general stuff too like 'Did you put the dishes away' or 'Can you help me get that book' or 'Have you finished your homework?' That kinda stuff from my dad.” He shrugged, “It was just uncomfortable cuz I'd get the urge to roll over and tell him everything and I'd never be able to disobey, and I couldn't lie.”

Theo frowns, “He shouldn't have used it on you.”

Philip shrugs, he still feels a weird urge to defend his family. “What can you do? None of them really got Omega dynamics so I don't think he even knew what he was doing. Like even my sister didn't really get it. She just sort of understood that I couldn't refuse her when she asked something.” Philip pauses, “They probabaly just thought I was a really great son or bro or something which I totally was obviously. Omega compulsion or not.”

Theo's still frowning and he feels this irrational need to assure her that there's no issue here, “It wasn't a big deal. Like it was never an issue-” and here Philip stops because it was an issue once. 

And that was the worst.

Theo sits up, “What.”

“Nothing.” He answers because it’s painful and pathetic and he doesn't want to think about it. She doesn't push and that's why he's so lucky and she's the actual best.

They pack up the rest of the stuff that he wants to take, and he slips his favourite candle into her handbag. “You'll learn to love them.” He promises.

They're are legit just about to leave. Like he's picked up his overnight bag and his backpack full of his school stuff and they are right about to walk out the door of his room and down the corridor and out the front door and get on with life when he hears the front door open.

Adrenaline floods his system and his heart starts beating ridiculously fast. Well this is partly what they came for.  
Philip swallows and Theo puts a hand on his shoulder. He nods. He can hear his father's voice downstairs and his mother's and his Aunt Angelica's and what the fuck is that Uncle Laf? He groans slightly. “Obviously the whole calvary is here.”

Theo squeezes the hand on his shoulder and loops her arm through his. “We are mature, responsible bond mates and will deal with your family acting like dickwads.”

That makes him feel better. “That we will.”

He leaves his room with Theo's arm through his making no attempt to sneak around and he can hear the exact moment everyone realises there are other people in the house. He knows they're gonna sniff him out any second now and why is this so hard-

“Philip!” That's his mom and yeah. He knew this was gonna happen.

He descends the corridor and they're all in the family room (to do what? Battle planning?) so he dumps his bags by the door and leads Theo to his doom (he's feeling melodramatic).

“Hey.” He says from the doorway and wow everyone is here. Even Uncle Herc and Aunt Adrienne and Auntie Peggy are here. Oh and Georges. Potential bond mate Georges. Awkward. He and Georges share a brief look where Georges looks equal parts apologetic and nonplussed. Okay, well its good to know Georges isn't gonna bitch him out for jilting him at the altar.

Everyone looks up and Philip is just about ready to make a bolt for it but Theo is at his side and he needs to clear all of this up so yeah. He squashes away his awkwardness and decides to be a mature responsible almost adult.

“Um.. this is Theo. We just came back to grab some of my stuff.”

“Nice to meet all of you.” Theo's apparently still got manners and her wits about her. She smiles at everyone and she's so beautiful and Philip is getting side-tracked.

“And we're bonded. As of last last night. Which you all probably already know but no one's met her yet so yeah. This is Theo.” Wow this is so awkward. Legit no one is bothering to introduce themselves in turn. “So yeah no arranged bonding for me.” He holds back letting out a little yay! At the end of that because time and place.

“Philip,” His dad clears his throat and looks the exact shade of awkward that Philip feels, “Son, we never meant to make decisions that weren't for your own good and benefit.” And yeah he can almost believe that. “And I understand you weren't happy with your mother and I's decision to bond you but is was for your own good,” he emphasises that bit and Philip gets it okay. It was all for his own good blah blah blah, “But Philip, you shouldn’t feel the need to avoid voiding this non-consensual bond. We don’t want just any bond for you, we want you to make the right decision for yourself too.” His dad looks so earnest and supremely convinced he’s right that it riles Philip up worse than any insults ever could. 

Philip bristles, “Excuse me.” He spits. And wow he's about to fuck some shit up and he can see the way no one in the room is tensing because he's a fucking Omega so what damage can he do. But what the fuck? Non-consensual? What was what they were trying to do to him huh?

“What your father means baby is that if you were unhappy you could have just told us.” His mother jumps in. Wow she is so wrong. “We thought you and Georges would be a good match! You used to play so well together as children and were always friendly growing up. He would be a good choice.”  
Georges rolls his eyes at that and Philip is starting to realise that maybe he isn't the only one who's finding this whole thing ridiculous. And maybe he wasn't the only not entirely willing participant here.

Philip is about to spit with anger because does anyone here actually get anything? And Theo has drawn herself up to her full height beside him and he can feel the anger coming off her and her scent is bright and hot and furious and possessive and it's making him feel heady. He wants her to show everyone just how much he belongs to her and fuck fuck fuck that’s the last thing he should be thinking right now. 

Philip doesn't even want to respond to his mother. He had spent the days after that night stewing in shame and self-pity and disgust and guilt and honestly. He doubted complaining (after his screaming fit of 'you can't do this!') would make much difference.

He tries to calm himself. He's a mature, sensible, responsible newly bonded Omega and he's not going to kill anyone today.

“Really Philip,” That's Auntie Angelica and he would recognise the casual condescension anywhere.   
God we all get it you're smarter than the average Ivy League professor, but can you just switch it off for once? Philip's thoughts are getting all shades of snide and his irritation is just feeding Theo's. 

“It would have been very hard to arrange a bond for you especially considering the partners you'd had before. Georges was very kind to put that aside.” 

Philip sneaks a quick look at Georges who just looks bored. When he catches Philip looking, he mouths a quick “Fuck this.” which makes Philip feel shades better. 

Unfortunately, Aunt Angelica can't stop, “It's not right for an Omega to be with anyone but their future bond mate.” God that tone of voice though and now she's switched to understanding pity, “I completely understand the need for some teenage rebellion but really Philip.”

Philip can feel himself shut down a little. Like he did after that night. Like he did after he heard all of this the first time. He wants to curl into a little ball and blocks his ears until the judgemental voices of alpha alpha alpha shut up and left him alone. It works to give them what they want, it works because then he can just get on with it. Fuck he just wants to get on with it. 

Theo squeezes his hand and it beings him back enough that he only watches the next confrontation with a slight haze over his eyes. 

He can almost hear the moment Theo breaks, “Excuse me.” Her voice is eerily blank and Philip shivers despite himself because his Alpha is fucking furious and he notes with some satisfaction that this time everyone does sit up.   
“Did you just call my bond-mate used goods?” 

Her voice rises, “Did you just reduce my bond-mate's sexual autonomy to a teenage rebellion? Did you just shame my bond-mate for his sexual history?” 

She's snarling now. “What century are you coming from? The 1800s?” 

She's more than furious Philip realises, she's angry to a point where every move she makes is highly calculated. She's so angry her mind has become laser focused.   
“Has anyone in here even met an Omega?” She casts her eyes around the room, “Because your lack of insight into your own son's classification has resulted in an astounding amount of ignorance. If an Alpha isn't an egocentric maniac they will not care what state their Omega comes to them in similar to the way an Omega is not societally expected to question their Alpha's past behaviour. Does anyone else for all their precious liberal standards recognise the double standard there?”   
Her words are blistering, and Philip can feel everything he's ever secretly thought become vindicated in this one speech.

“Philip is not just an Omega. He is more than his classification and all your damaging stereotypes about what Omegas are and should be have hurt him and you should all feel very fucking ashamed of yourselves.” She hisses the last bit before glaring at everyone.

“I think that's out cue to leave.” Philip notes and takes her hand. His body has unclenched and his mind feels clear and he feels strong and powerful and good. 

He hears his father say his name but he just hunches his shoulders against it and walks out picking up his bag and leaving out the front door.

He makes it two blocks before he starts to sag and Theo guides him into the park near his house and helps him onto a bench. 

Philip can't hold it back he buries his face in her neck and starts crying. He's exhausted and angry and the time spent with Theo and Aaron had almost convinced him that all those things he thought about himself weren't true and maybe they were and years and years of this shit. 

He doesn't know how long he cries for, only that Theo holds him the entire time petting his hair and making a comforting purring sound from deep within her chest.

“Can we go back to yours.” He croaks out and Theo nods and takes his hand to lead him. He's suddenly exhausted and falls asleep on her shoulder on the subway back downtown.

They stay silent all the way to her house and as soon as they're in he makes his way up to her bedroom. 

Theo stays down in the kitchen and almost starts crying herself. Because that's her Omega and her instincts are screaming that she should have done more to protect him and should have hit someone and god. The most disturbing thing was the fact that they all spoke so securely as though what they were saying wasn't wrong.

She moves into the living room and settles on the couch with some tea. She'll give Philip space. She'll let him come to her.

He comes a little while later. Slipping next to her. She curls around him and offers him some of her tea. He takes a sip and laughs in a throaty voice that tells her he cried again when he was upstairs. 

“I'm becoming addicted to peppermint. Do you guys have anything else.”

Theo smiles and noses under his chin, “We can go out and get some other tea if you like. I'm partial to some green tea or chamomile or maybe a fancier blend?”

“Yeah, that'd be cool.”

He takes in a deep shuddering breath, “Remember when you said I didn't have to choose?” He asks and Theo nods even though he can't see her.

“Well I've made my choice. It was never really a choice anyway. Wanna go to the bonding registry now?”

Theo smiles and burrows closer to him, “Sure. Let's go.”

He makes her laugh near constantly on the way (they decided to walk because the nearest one isn't that far and they both need to clear their heads), trying so hard it's almost painful. Theo laughs extra loudly and watches the tight thing in his face ease slightly. She's even freer with her affection and he begins to thaw out.

The registration only takes five minutes. They sign the forms and then they're done. And that's it. In the eyes of the law they are done. That's them.

It gives Philip that giddy feeling back. Then he remembers his parents and feels sick. Because before they saw them, he could pretend that they liked Theo and everything was okay but now… now he can't pretend anything. 

He doesn't cry. He doesn't. He just blinks hard and ignores the stinging and fuck he's never cried this much in such a short space of time.

Theo pulls him into a frozen yoghurt place and they eat the cold mush and each order around half the topping and as Philip digs through his mound of gummi bears and brownie bites and strawberry chunks he thinks that this might actually be okay.

Theo is dealing with a similar monstrosity and he can see her bonding bite and you know what? It is okay.

“You were totally badass standing up for me back there.”

She grins at him between mouthfuls, “I would have kept going but I think it's probz better to keep it short and sweet.”

Philip hums, “Feel free to yell any time you like it's unsurprisingly very attractive.”

Theo laughs, “Seriously?” But they’re both a shade too serious. He can imagine her snarling at him in bed and it makes something deep in his belly squirm. 

“Well everything you do is attractive to me so yeah.” He feels a little shy all of a sudden as if he's said too much and dips his head to stare at his fro-yo.

Theo doesn't say anything just takes his spare hand in hers’.

It's enough.

It's good.

They get home that night after going to the Met because Theo wanted to sit in the Japanese garden. Philip hadn't even known there was a Japanese garden but there is and its nice and peaceful. She also leads him around the 18th century French painting rooms that have basically no one in them. 

Philip just holds her hand and looks at the years of history around him. That night as they're walking back to her place from the Subway he realises that he has no idea what he's going to say when Aaron asks when and if he can meet his parents except for never and never. That night he doesn't bring it up and Aaron doesn't ask. He's just grateful for the relief.

He's put all his washing stuff away in Theo's bathroom but he didn't know where to put everything else and couldn’t really find any space for his clothes and stuff so his overnight bag is just lying on the floor. But when Theo comes in with a fresh mug of tea she springs into this calm kind of action.

She takes the scented candle out of her purse and puts it on her nightstand. She then takes his books out of his bag and puts them on her desk.   
She unpacks some of his clothes finding hangers and hanging them up in her closet. She makes space for his t-shirts in a drawer and then finds room seemingly out of nowhere to put the rest of his stuff.   
She folds up his bag and puts it under her bed then she slots his backpack next to hers under the desk. 

Philip just sits on her bed and watches himself get absorbed into her life and feels his eyes sting a little because he's known her for two days and he doesn't want to be the needy Omega being taken care of but he still can't deny that he likes being taken care of. Maybe he really just is the primal instincts everyone seems content to reduce him too.

He brushes his teeth next to her and looks at their reflections in the mirror. He's so lucky.

They settle down to sleep and he's holding her and he thinks about the fact that maybe he'll never get to go home and oh shit he has to go back to school on Monday and suddenly he can feel his chest getting tight.

“Theo.” He whispers.

She hums a response and Philip swallows.

“A week ago about I got caught by a teacher blowing some guy in a supply closet.” Philip's throat feels like its closing up because he remembers how much he had liked being choked on this guy’s dick and how his stomach had flipped when the door was wrenched open and suddenly all the stuff he did in the dark was out in the open and it been one of the single most embarrassing moments of his life because the way the teacher had looked at him had made him feel exactly like the Omega slut stereotype down on his knees that he's been embracing and shoving away his entire life. 

“And the school called my parents and they came to collect me and they were so disappointed and my mom lectured me in the car of the importance of not giving myself up to random strangers because then my future bond mate may not want me and I sorta took it because I'd heard variations of that kind of thing before.” 

He continues despite the fact that it physically hurts. 

“And that night as we were eating dinner my mom asked how long that guy and me had been seeing each other because,” he squeezes his eyes shut, “Obviously you can't have sexual contact with anyone you’re not in a relationship with. She was acting so understanding as well- all 'I understand the concept of being with one person can be scary' and stuff. And well I didn't really think so I was just like 'oh we're not dating' and I kept eating and the whole table was quiet and my dad sort of goes, 'was that a one-time thing' and he was using the Alpha voice and I remember fighting the instinct so hard and just not being able to and it was like an out of body experience. Seeing myself answer when I was screaming not to do it. But I had to answer. And I said 'yeah with that guy'. And if it’s even possible it goes even quieter like everything's stopped and my mom goes 'there were others?' and I can see how it's going so wrong and I don't have to answer her cuz she's a Beta and I'm thinking of all the ways to deflect when my dad is just like 'can everyone leave' and all my siblings leave.” 

Philip remembers the utter panic because fuck they're gonna find out and why is he even ashamed and he can't help it. Theo is holding him, and it reminds him that it's okay. He's okay. But at the same time, he isn't okay he's remembering. 

“And when it's just me and them the Alpha voice comes back on and I end up having to tell them everything. And I'm fighting so hard but I just can't and it all comes out and their faces. And when I tell them I'm been screwing around with like twelve people over the past three years my mum sort of screams twelve and my dad just sits there. And I didn't know what to do. And I went to my room after they told me to get out and I was just sitting there and it felt like the entire world was judging me and a few hours later my dad told me I was gonna be bonded off to some random guy I don't even know or remember and I remember screaming that they couldn't do this and I was crying and my dad just told me to stop freaking out about it and that was it and it was for my own good. And my lips were sealed and I couldn't say anything. I couldn't say anything.” 

Philip isn't crying because he feels so numb. Because that was it. After his father said that to him that was it. “And no one protested. No one said they couldn't do that. And I couldn't do anything.”

Philip stops because that's it. Because the most disturbing part had been robbed of his autonomy by people who didn't even realise what they had done and seeing his whole life narrow down to one bite that was essentially life-long servitude to him.

“I just couldn't do anything. And no one else said anything.”

Theo holds him tighter and his arms loop around her and she scents his neck and rubs her cheek on the bite and that's it. That's it.

“It's gonna be okay.” She whispers, “It's gonna be okay.”

And he kinda believes her.

Maybe if he could really ever be more than biology he would wonder if he had just traded one kind of subservience for another. But Philip just knows that he feels settled and happy for the first time and why shouldn’t he feel happy. Why shouldn’t he be allowed to enjoy this. 

His chest feels lighter as he falls asleep and now at least she knows the whole painful story of how pathetic he is.

He wakes up to a mouthful of her hair the next morning and hums happily. She's still asleep and he just loves the way she smells so he indulges himself a little more taking in a few more deep breathes. It's Saturday he realises almost numbly. So much time and no time at all.

He reaches for his book lying on her nightstand and it’s all this comfortable easy stuff that makes him feel the deepest. He shifts slightly so he's half sitting up with her sprawled across his chest and starts to read. The light moves across the walls as he keeps reading. He's reading “When Breath Becomes Air” and falls deeper and deeper into the story as the warm weight of Theo's head against his chest blows breath across his skin.

He can count his life to each exhalation, each letter that builds the palace he feels like a fraud for inhabiting. This is his life now. The way Theo's eyelashes cast spidery shadows across her cheek, the weight of paper in his hands, the maddening smell of her everywhere. The noise of traffic outside her window, the gurgle of pipes somewhere above or below them it doesn't matter anyway. 

This is what his life has distilled into for these few precious morning moments.

Philip squeezes his eyes shut and half-prays that he should be allowed to live here forever. Suspended in a venetian paper weight. For a second, it's magic as if the universe has stilled to listen.  
Theo stirs awake and it's over.

He can't find anything in him to be upset though.

She yawns and stretches out hitting him in the face in the process. Philip splutters, “Romantic.” He bites and she just leans in close. 

“Want me to kiss it better?” She asks and fuck morning breath because yes. Yes he does.

They lazily make out for most of the morning. He reads her some passages from his book and she jots some stuff down in her journal. He helps her on an English paper and they argue about Hamlet loudly. His stomach starts to grumble around lunch time so they go off in search of sustenance. 

Theo's wearing these loose jeans and a t-shirt with her bare feet and her wild hair and honestly Philip doesn't think he's ever seen someone so perfect. He's wearing sweats and a jumper and looks a little like a hobo.

Aaron isn't in the house and when he asks Theo she just shrugs, “He's probably in the office. He tends to work over the weekends.”

“What does your dad actually do?”

“Oh, he's a lawyer. He was actually thinking about being a senator but with my mom passing and the loss of the bond he decided not to do anything drastic.” Theo says it so casually and Philip doesn't want to push so he just hums in response.

Theo makes oatmeal with maple syrup and brown sugar and Philip raises his eyebrows, “That is not what oatmeal is for. When people say it meant to be good for you it’s without the sugar.”

Theo just raises her eyebrows challengingly, “Who said I wanted it to be healthy.”

And Philip just smiles back because fair enough.

They laze around the house for the rest of the day. Reading a little more, watching some TV, Philip writes a few poems and Theo doesn't ask which is nice because he doesn't want to talk about it. It’s strange because poetry had always be a family thing for him. Like at school he wasn't 'the poet' but at home he was and now that he feels like he's lost his family...

He doesn't dwell just writes.

When the evening light gets low and Philip's hand start twitching self-destructively towards his phone Theo drags him out the door to go on a walk and its nice. Everything's nice with her and he's terrified of the moment they’ll leave this honeymoon phase and she'll realise she's sick of him (or even worse he'll get sick of her).

They walk to the Hudson river and hold hands as they stroll on the walkway and it’s just so nice. Life is great. And even with Philip's yoyo-ing emotions he isn't gonna let this moment be lost. So, he's let's himself get lost. He grips her hand maybe a little too tight but she doesn't say anything and they walk and it’s enough. It's enough but for how long.

They have sex that night before her dad comes home in her bed and its really really nice. She rides him and he just lies back and lets her take and take and take and doesn't fight his biology when it whispers to arch his neck and he can tell she isn't trying to fight either the way she pins him down and sucks hickeys into his clavicle.

He doesn't always want to be the malleable Omega and she doesn't always want to be the aggressive Alpha but maybe together in this bed where no one can see them and the world isn't allowed to intrude he can let go and forget what he's been fighting so hard to achieve all these years. He moans low and deep as she whispers pure filth in his ear and when he comes the stars behind his eyes are the brightest he's even see them.

They change her sheets giggling the whole time and he isn't even worried that he's let his self-assured mask slip and shown her the bleeding edges of the true Omegan nature underneath because no one can fight biology and Theo is an Alpha to the core no matter how much she tries to dull her shine under manners and social platitudes.

When her bed is neat and clean Philip sighs, “How do people have proper sex so often in their beds when it makes such a mess?”

Theo shrugs, “Maybe they aren't doing it right, I mean can sex be good without being messy?”

Philip frowns at that. The answer is no, then yes, then maybe. “I have no idea but I am not impartial to finding out.” He settles on.

They sleep curled up into each other and he knows he likes her so much it makes his head ache. He knows she feels the same and this is the strength of the bond- he doesn't even have to wonder if her feelings are reciprocated.

Sunday is long and sleepy. The day stretches on forever but not long enough. They sleep in late and when they wake Aaron has already gone to work. Theo isn't surprised and tbh Philip isn't either- sometimes he wouldn't see his dad for weeks.

They make lunch and do more school work and Philip internally freaks out because of school tomorrow and he knows no one will miss the massive bite on his neck or the way his scent has changed and honestly it shouldn't even be a big deal. Other people have missed school to come back mated before. It's just he doesn't want to attention. Or to see his siblings. Or to potentially be dragged into the principles office like he was after- you know. And he doesn't want to walk around with the bite and have every teacher who knows about the blowjob and arranged bonding who don't know about Theo to smirk satisfied at him at having another messy Omega put in his place. Fuck.  
He doesn't really voice this though.

Theo drags him to the MoMA that afternoon and he gets the feeling she likes having someone constantly around for her to do things with and it’s so sad to think that Theo must've been lonely but she must've been. Being an opinionated Alpha who wasn't bonded in a school that is apparently full of dicks who pull people up for aggression orders when they just don't like them- friendship must have been hard to find and limited. And her dad's never around and yeah.

Lonely.

And Philip had felt suffocated. They make a right pair. But they fit.

They wander around bracketed by large scale photos Philip feels like a character in an indie film. Theo is studiously reading every photo description and excitedly pointing out her own analysis of each work. Philip can hear the excitement in her voice and lets himself be swept up in her enjoyment. As much of an uncultured heathen as he is, he had never really visited many of the galleries or museums beyond that one cursory look through because of school or something. But this is nice. Theo is getting genuine pleasure out of this and looks so interested and Philip can learn to love the things she loves pretty easily.

If it makes her happy.

It's dark by the time they make it back to her house.   
Aaron isn't back yet so they start making dinner. The Burr's have actual honest to god cookbooks on a shelf in the kitchen. Ones that they actually read and Philip is amazed as Theo picks a recipe for vegetarian lasagne and just starts making it. Just gathers up the ingredients from their well-stocked fridge and pantry and starts making it with Philip mostly being around the chop and measure things. It's incredible. Is this what organisation looks like?

The lasagne smells heavenly in the oven and tastes just as good out of it. Theo carefully wraps up the leftovers and puts them away before leaving a post-it-note on the fridge for her dad telling him that there's food for him.

“What time does he usually come back?” Philip asks as the ascend the stairs to her room.

Theo shrugs, “Depends. After I got to bed on weekdays and I can sometimes catch him on weekends.” She sighs, “I used to be kinda mad that he was never around but he's there when I need him y'know and he's always been supportive and after-” She stops, and Philip gets it.

“After witnessing my train wreck of a family's definition of supportive.” He finishes dryly.

She looks a little guilty but continues, “Yeah after them I realised I don't mind the small stuff as long as he's around for the big stuff.”

The conversation sort of stops there and Philip busies himself with getting his bag ready and making sure all his work is done and his planner is in order. Theo disappears into the bathroom and Philip's been reading the same homework assignment in his book three times without noticing when she comes around behind him and wrap her arms around his waist.

“Hey.” She whispers and he can feel this tension boil and bubble under his skin. She kisses along his neck. “We can try and talk to them again. You won't ever be alone.” She nuzzle into his jaw, “As long as you have me you'll never be alone. I promise. You never have to be alone.”

Philip is furious all of a sudden and he doesn't know why. He leans back into her and breathes and breathes and breathes until the anger ebbs and flows and he's trying so hard

“I know darling.” She murmurs, “I know.” The cadence of her voice becoming the background to feeling his stomach twist uncomfortably as he resists the urge to scream. To react. To get angry at her when nothing is her fault. When the only reason he isn't in a worse situation is because of her. He breathes and breathes and almost starts crying again, crying in frustration because how can he know something so completely but not be able to reign his emotions in to fit this truth?

She holds him anyway. Never lets go and helps him into his pyjamas when he's sure he isn't going to have a mental breakdown.

That night as the darkness in the room blankets the two of them she scents her way into every crevice of his body. Trailing her nose up and down his chest until he's sure he smells more of her than she does.

Then she throws a leg over his chest and falls asleep.

Philip sleeps almost immediately. Feeling safe and loved and accepted. 

He sleeps even as his mind screams because his body knows what he wants and lets him take it with no complaints.

He's happy. Why can't he let himself be happy.


	4. Breathe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Philip is trying to adjust to a new reality. It's going pretty well.

When he wakes the next morning it's all pragmatism. He checks his phone as he brushes his teeth (all the millions of “Philip we need to talk” and “son we should meet again” and “Philip you came back home yesterday, and you didn't wait to see me wtf?” texts). He doesn’t answer the messages and voicemails because he still needs space and shrugs on his jacket as Theo puts on her boots. She gives him her spare key and it feels so special. So so special.

He just grins and tugs on her hair, “You'll never get rid of me now.”

She looks up at him all sincerity, “Maybe that was all my master plan.”

They walk to the subway together even though Philip knows her high school isn't a ride away and she can walk there. She walks him to the subway as a final reminder that she's there. He swipes trough the barrier and sees her standing on the other side. She smiles and waves and he waves back and it feels a little like the first day of school.

He uses the time on the train to decompress and not think and by the time he's walking up to his school it feels okay.

He makes it to his locker without bumping into anyone and shoves stuff in and out haphazardly as quickly as he can before almost sprinting to homeroom.

Everyone in there is acting completely natural and he's wearing a turtleneck anyway so it’s not like anyone can see the bite to begin with. He slips into his usual seat and Rose and Liam grin at him.

“Missed you the past few days Pip.” Liam says good naturedly, “You sick or something?”

Philip shrugs, “Or something.” And the three of them laugh.

Rose leans across, “You're looking good today. Got your eye on someone?” And that’s the beauty of Betas. They can't smell the change in his scent. And they don't give a shit who he blows in supply closets.

Philip just puts on a scandalised face, “Are you saying I don't usually look top notch?”

Liam laughs, “Nah, it's just that since Mr Doharty found you and Drake in the supply closet you've been acting twitchy.” He makes a face, “You just look relaxed is all.”

Philip sighs, “That was shit.”

Rose nods, “Completely agree.”

There’s a moment of silence and Philip feels supremely awkward so he just decides to go for straight talk. “Anyone been wondering where I am?”

Liam shrugs, “We all have college apps to deal with, you lucky bastard. Who the fuck has the time and energy?”

Philip just leans back in his chair and looks smug, “Worship me.”

The easy banter is refreshing. It's nice to know he can just slip back into his old life. And no one _cares_ about the drama. His little crisis is barely even a blip in the age-old tale of time so why does it even matter?

That's pretty much how the rest of the day goes. He jokes in Algebra and pays attention in Government and by the time its AP English he's feeling super relaxed. He slips in next to Jack and the boy grins and lightly punches him on the shoulder, “Where the hell have you been you dick? I _did_ fail geometry because of you!”

“Crazy few days.” Philip makes a face.

“Yeah no shit." Jack frowns, “Did you get bonded?”

“It's kinda complicated. Simple answer is yes but yeah. Complicated.”

“Was it arranged?” Jack is pushing and Philip can kinda get the curiosity.

“Well there was an arranged bonding but I bolted from that, got picked up by the police and ended up in a holding cell with the Alpha girl who was super cool and we ended up bonding.”

“Holy shit.” Jack breathes. “That's the most fucking dramatic thing I've ever heard.”

Philip nods, “The universe is weird and wonderful.”

“Wait wait. So let me get this straight. You _did_ get bonded just not to the person your parents wanted to force you to?”

“Yeah, that girl and I were kinda meant to be anyway. Like as soon as I touched her we both went into heat.” Philip stills feels the latent shame of mentioning heat because that's a flashing 'he's an omega!' sign but Jack is really the last person he has to be worried about and besides he's in a calm sharing mood.

“Damn.” Jack whistles in appreciation, “That's super fucking lucky man.”

Philip rubs the back of his neck, “Yeah it was.”

Jack leans forward and grins, “Okay so is she hot though?”

“Hot like _burning._ ” Philip confirms and it feels like normal.

He's just about to leave school. Like classes are done and he is out the door when they find him. Oh, for fucks sake why is this a recurring theme.

“Philip.” Angie's voice cuts through the noise in the hallway and thank every god he knows people are going to class and the entire world isn't gonna have to hear how much of a slut his family thinks he is. She's with Alex Jr. though he looks awkward and like he's not very happy to be there.

Philip turns, “Yeah Angie?”

Her eyes narrow, “Don't. Where the fuck have you been?”

“Around.” Philip keeps his voice light and casual partly to stop this from dissolving into a screaming fit and also partly because he's trying to be mature. 'Be calm' he can just about picture Theo saying to him. He can see Angie try to scent him and he knows she's trying to gauge how he's feeling because she used to do it all the time and he hadn't really thought about it before but maybe her sniffing out his emotions is kinda a privacy violation?

“You know. Almost got bonded off. Went to prison. Pretty much moved out.” He shrugs, “Just been around.”

He can see Alex Jr. smile at him and he winks at him because yeah. It is dramatic and funny.

“Why did you run off?” He can see a glimpse of the deep hurt on Angie's face and yeah. Maybe she's hurt he 'abandoned' her and he's hurt she though an arranged bonding _against his will_ was okay.

“Um.. Maybe I didn't want to be given away like a piece of furniture?” Philip raises an eyebrow like damn how does she not get it.

“Mom and dad wouldn't have had to do that if you hadn't been running around with so many people!” And there's the crux of it. Alex Jr. winces but Philip just feels tired.

“Angie would this even be an issue if it was you? If you in all your Alpha glory,” He can't help his voice from getting a little snide because this is his beloved baby sister and how can she not understand? “Slept around and flirted a little a blew a guy in a supply room closet there would be no forced bonding for you.” He shrugs, “Every classification has its own issues like Alphas and aggression orders which I don't approve off but whatever. I want autonomy in my own life. I want to be happy and neither me nor Georges would have been happy with each other. I met someone I am compatible with. She's great and she's not just some randomer off the street I bonded just to not be with Georges.”

“But, it was for your own good!”

Philip can't be bothered anymore.

“Listen Angie you, James or Alex can always reach me on my mobile if you need help or are in trouble and I'm still your bro and I'm still gonna see you at school but if you're just gonna text me to tell me what a whore I am or how much you hate my bond mate I'm not gonna answer.”

He nods at them trying to keep calm when his heart feels like it's shattering. These are his baby siblings.

He turns to leave and no one says anything.

He walks away feeling equal parts victorious and guilty.

Everyone just needs some space right about now.

He walks to the local library and finds his usual table in the corner. His spreads out his books and starts working ignoring the jittery way his fingers jump across the pages or how his head feels screwed on too tight.

He gets a text from Alex Jr. while he's working and he's half afraid to check it.

_Alex: Hey can I dig around in ur room for ur of mice and men notes?_

Something in his chest loosens.

_Philip: they're probz in a box under the bed. Dig around to ur heart's content._

Alex Jr. sends him back a thumbs up in confirmation and it's weird isn't it that less than a week ago he would have been in his room to ask him but now he doesn't even live in the house really.

He keeps working until he's done everything except extra reading and then he packs up and takes the subway back downtown. It feels weird like he has one foot in before and one in after. He's started measuring time in “Before Theo” and “After Theo” which is so dumb but he can't help it. So much has changed. _He's_ changed. Well maybe not drastically. He's still the same person almost exactly but she's good for him.

He knows she is she grounds him- stops him from spiralling out of control and he can't lash out at her. He knows it isn't perfect (he still gets so _angry)_ and he knows they don't know each other well enough to care for each other despite their flaws but he can still think she's perfect because to him he is and that's the thing about the bond Philip thinks to himself resting his cheek on his palm and tapping his pen against his book.

The bond means he's hard pressed to ever stop loving and the best, sweetest part that he chews on is the fact that they _chose_ each other. Because maybe if they'd been forced on each other it wouldn't have worked but he _chose_ her to the fullest extent of his abilities. To an extent he supposes she represents a kind of freedom for him. The freedom to make those major personal decisions in his life which he had been convinced were going to be denied him. So yeah.

Tbh he would be fighting the bond if it had been arranged. Fighting tooth and nail every step of the way so who is really happier now? He can guarantee that being forced into the arranged bond would

100% mean more trouble and animosity and general bad blood.

His phone screen lights up and Philip leans over to peer at it.

_Theo: I want fries soooooo badly plz come eat w/ me_

Philip sort of smiles because it's adorable and why does everything she does have to be adorable and why does he even think her craving fries is adorable. Like when he used to hang with Isabella French he never used to be into her complaining about how hungry she was.

_Philip: k, where r u?_

_Theo: downtown. There's a good place near the station near my house. Meet u in 15?_

_Philip: yeh c u soon_

They're meeting at the station near her house and its weird because isn't that now the station near _his_ house? It's strange that it's still not sunk in. As he leaves the library this is the moment he would turn right and walk home which is only five minutes away but that isn't really an option anymore.

Philip kicks at the pavement because messy. He gets this ache in his chest that screams unfinished business at him and sighs. On the train downtown all he can think about is his own self-righteous anger and he almost works himself up into a frenzy again because when you consider it how dare his family put his this situation when there first tried to ruin his life then when he tried to stop the life-ruining they decided he sucked and didn't deserve to be contacted and apologised to. It was fucking bullshit.

He tries to dissipate the anger and visualises it flowing out through the top of his head because that sounds like something someone who actually can deal with their own feelings would. It sounds like something the therapist he's been forced to see with the rest of his siblings after the scandal said.

'It's okay to be angry. I encourage it. No feeling is off limits.' Philip closes his eyes and thinks about what he's gained instead of lost.

By the time he's made it to the station he's trying to regain some of that early relationship feeling of euphoria and why is it that every time he gets close it flits away. He just wants to feel like everything is okay and Theo is forever like he _did. He really felt that way._

He wants it back and maybe this is where the honeymoon stops. Maybe this is where cruel reality steps in. His steps are laboured as he leaves the station and quicken when he sees Theo standing outside almost bouncing with excitement. She's incredible and inconceivable in the very best of ways. Suddenly he loves her all at once. Or rather he remembers to love her.

“Hey.” He can't help but smile.

“Hey.” She reaches up to kiss him. “Guess what?”

“What?”

“My dad just left town for business this afternoon.” Theo doesn't even make an act of being sad she just lets her smile get filthy. “So, we've got the house all to ourselves.”

Philip leans in closer putting a hand on the dirty brick next to her head, “Don't we always have the house to ourselves?”

Theo makes a satisfied hum and pulls him in for a kiss.

“I don't like spending time away from you!” She whines, “This is legit the longest we've spent apart since we were bonded.” And yeah that is true. Wow. Who'd have thought.

“Probabaly better that we don't have school together.” Philip gets out, lips still dangerously close to hers’. “Wouldn't be able to pay attention otherwise.”

And it's true and it's a legitimate concern. He wouldn't be able to pay any attention if Theo was in easy reach ready to be pulled into a supply closet. Okay too soon (#triggered).

They queue up and is this a restaurant or a food stand or a food stand affiliated with a restaurant?

“Theodosia?” A voice calls and both Theo and Philip's heads whip around (it actually must look hilarious) to be faced with a blond girl around their age. She's with a few friends and is smiling. No bonding bite Philip notes and is it weird that now that he has one he's become hyper aware of them and keeps staring at everyone's necks?

Theo seems relaxed enough, “Hey!”

The girl and her sort of briefly hug and Philip stands there and tries to make himself look more like someone who's in control of his life. He orders quickly while Theo and the girl chat.

“This is Philip.” Theo introduces and Philip smiles easily. Do not flirt, he orders himself and he manages it vaguely easily, but old habits die hard. Is it a habit more than a conscious effort? Does it make it better if you don't realise you're doing it? Does it make it better if it’s an instinct?

“Nice to meet you.”

“Oh! You're Theo's bond mate?”

Philip sort of helplessly shrugs, “Yeah?” Damnit why is he being so shady he _is_ her bond-mate it’s not a big deal except Theo's an Alpha and people can _tell_ he's an Omega. Stop being neurotic.

“Oh cool!” The girl sort of stops and then starts making small talk again about school stuff. Philip contributes at some points and the conversation is easy and makes him feel like a normal person which is very much appreciated

The others join in and they get a table together (and it is a restaurant as well as an affiliated food truck). They spend two hours just shooting the shit and its comfortable and _normal_ and there's an Omega girl in the group who complains loudly about this guy she's texting who keeps leaving her on read. Everyone pitches in and this is what the real world is like, Philip reminds himself, this is what normal people who aren't hyperaware of their family member’s sexual status act like.

Theo finishes two baskets of fries on her own and they leave the place with that calm lethargy that eating provides. Philip likes it. Likes the way her energy is dulled- it makes him feel in control.

She's leaning on him and the street lamps cast orange shadows across her face and for a second Philip is struck by the thought that this girl is entirely and completely his. As much aside from all that daddy-dom stuff they belong to each other which is nice. It’s nice. He likes belonging somewhere. Having a home.

He can taste possibility again.

It's a nice feeling.


	5. Delete forever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time doesn't stop for Philip to get his shit together. It keeps flowing regardless.

A month passes.

Two months pass.

Three months pass.

There’s a part of Philip that thinks it should be harder than this.

Philip texts Alex Jr. a lot and does school work and meets his friends and has sex with Theo and goes to the park with Theo and Coney Island with Theo and visits what feels like every gallery and museum in New York with Theo.

They go and see award winning depressing plays on Broadway by people like Edward Albee, and uplifting musicals (she cries at Wicked), Theo makes him visit the Empire State Building and the Statue of Liberty with her because (as she whines) she's never been. Aaron is always busy but when he’s there he’s kind if a little quiet. Philip convinces himself that Theo is all he needs. It’s strange to have gone from such a huge family to one that really only consists of two people. Theo and him are perfectly in sync like binary stars. It’s terrifying because he’s not waiting for the other shoe to drop.

It’s impossible to explain how he feels because he doesn’t understand it himself. Theo is the only person he would ever consider sharing this with and he’s not sure she’d even understand it.

He envies the ease at which Theo has adjusted to having him in her life. She’s so comfortable with having him forever that he feels awkward voicing how he feels. Philip thinks that before being bonded he really understood nothing about bonding, how he never understood the voracious need for another person that it brings on, how he imagines them as two parts of the same thing. How he couldn’t leave her even if he wanted to. If she beat him or cheated on him or screamed at him, he’s not sure how much that would change the way he feels.

How much of how he loves Theo is just biology and how much is how amazing and kind and wonderful she is. How much have they built and how much has been thrust upon them? These are things that Philip thinks about when he’s alone. Which isn’t often granted. He needed his space before but now being without her feels uncomfortable.

Theo seems to at some level sense that there’s a lingering confusion within him and she does her best to distract him. It feels like every day she's got a new restaurant or cafe or dessert place for them to try. Maybe this distraction bait and switch isn’t exactly the healthiest thing but he’s not ready to get introspective when thinking about his family and what happened still makes him want to scream; in frustration or pain who can say.

Philip gets a job at this local café where he makes minimum wage making sandwiches, he does need the money. He doesn’t have to pay rent to Aaron or anything and Theo has made it clear that everything she has is his and that he doesn’t need to buy groceries. He would protest except he really doesn’t have the money to, so he sucks it up and lets his alpha “provide” which takes care of two problems at once. But he still feels awkward when Theo buys him stuff, like he’s some kept omega bitch pet. Which he isn’t. But still.

He meets Alex Jr. and James a few times and it’s a transition from living with someone to having to arrange a time to meet but it works out. Alex Jr. is a late bloomer and Philip can tell he's half-terrified about being an Omega which is equal parts insulting and rewarding (his home is messed up when it comes to Omegas. At least someone else feels it.) At a party he imagines he sees Angie out of the corner of his eye and he feels so fucking guilty he’s not sure how he stands it. Now that times passed, and his immediate anger has dulled he realises it’s not really her fault. She’s been living in the same house eating up the same rhetoric as him the entire time, it’s just ignorance not malicious intent. He should have called her months ago, but he didn’t- and she never called him and now they’re stuck at this weird impasse. Philip doesn’t feel as though he has anything to apologise for and he doesn’t want to fight her, but he still misses her. He has no idea what’s going on in her head anymore.

His mom and dad stop trying to call after a week.

It hurts.

He cries long and hard to Theo about it with her offering up the completely plausible explanation that he asked them not to contact him. But still they should have tried harder. He’s their son. They should be fighting harder damn what he says. He’s not sure how to articulate that point because it sounds stupid when said aloud, but it stands that it’s how he feels. Is he the estranged son now? Is he estranged from his parents? Have they become that textbook?

And when it hurts too much Theo drags him away from his own head for runs in central park and to the botanical gardens and the Bronx zoo and that's perfect because she's amazingly distracting. They fuck every spare chance they get in public bathrooms and dark alleys and he wonders a few times as he’s on his knees in the bathroom of a crappy restaurant or house party with his arm wedged under a tiny sink how his life got to this point. But when she moans around her own fist stuffed in her mouth, he thinks that he doesn’t mind too much.

Sometimes he catches himself taking the turn back home after school but it's not such a big deal anymore. One time he had walked all the way home and stood as close as he dared, watching for any movement inside. He had half-hoped his dad would see him and come running out and pull him into a hug saying how sorry he was.

As time wears on it hurts less often though still ambushing him brutally. To lose so many people so quickly. Especially those that claimed their love was unconditional is hard and terrible but deep down he knows he didn't exactly make it easy for them to reach out. He wants an apology. He wants them to all turn up at his house and tell him how wrong they were and how sorry they are. After all this time he’s 99% certain he’s not going to get it.

One day Aaron comes back early and he smells very faintly of Philip's dad and Philip's heart hammers so loudly he thinks he's dying and he has to excuse himself to hide behind the washing machine in the back room because when its working its loud enough that when he rests his head against it he can't think.

He never finds out why he smelt like that and he's half-terrified of the answer. Enough that he'll never ask.

He feels guilty about William because his baby brother will grow up without him. But it’s for the best. His parents probably don't want his slutty pheromones polluting the kid. He bets that what fucking Aunt Angelica told them, the cunt.

Life goes on because that's what life is. Relentless. The flow of time doesn't pause so he can get his shit together, so he gets it together. Stuffs it all down and moves on.

Theo is there to pick up the pieces he drops.

They're sitting together at the kitchen table and Theo's frowning over some equation or other and Philip's twirling his pen. She gets a text from her dad that leaves her grinning.

“Hey.”

“Hey yourself.” He taps the tip of her nose with the pen and she huffs before crawling awkwardly into his lap.

“My dad's away 'til Friday.” She says and that's all the warning he gets before her hand is in his pants and her mouth is on his neck.

Philip emerges gasping almost an hour later. “Theo.” He can't say anything else because he's panting too hard.

She looks smug, “I'm just assaulting you with love.” And it’s so dumb but it’s hilarious and he laughs until he almost cries. He wonders why he’s still so fucking unstable. Why can’t he just be strong.

They abandon their work that night and watch a stupid action movie instead where they yell at the screen and then a horror movie where Theo screams at the girl for not running fucking fast enough. By the time its three a.m they're deliriously watching some romantic comedy with a beefed-up Alpha male who borderline stalks his hapless Omega girlfriend. It's almost insulting and Philip feels that familiar twinge until suddenly it isn't insulting at all. It's hilarious. He and Theo act it out parallel to the on screen action and he can’t deny that it does get him a little hot.

He laughs against her mouth as they kiss again, and they have fucking school tomorrow.

“We should call in and say we're sick.” Theo's mumbling against his shoulder and it's four a.m and they have to be up in two and a half hours.

“Yeeeaaah.” Philip stifles a yawn. “Or we could be responsible.”

Theo's half-passed out against his shoulder but manages to shake her head. “Noooooooo. Graduation is soooooon who gives a fuuuuck.”

“Yup, you are suffering from a severe case of senioritis. I’m so sorry to be the one to break the news to you.”

“And you’re being a tight-ass. Just call in sick with me we can fuck all of tomorrow.” Her voice gets a little husky here. “We can fuck on the stairs…”

Oooh Philip does like fucking on the stairs.

“Yeah, but I don’t want to fuck up my attendance y’know.”

Theo groans, “Why am I bonded to such a goody Greg.”

“Hey fuck off, I just value my education.” Philip is half-aware of how prim he sounds then. “Okay fine, I can skip gym and that’s my last class tomorrow, so I’ll get out at noon.”

“But you’ll still be tired and you won’t have the energy to do the sex tomorrow.”

“I promise I will be up for doing the sex tomorrow.” Philip holds out his pinky.

“Okay fiiiiine. Promise.” Theo grumbles slightly as she hooks her pinky with his. “I’m totally skipping tomorrow.” She’s already tapping the email out on her phone as she says it and Philip settles down into the couch to turn off the TV that’s now playing Big Bang reruns.

“Now we cuddle.” Theo's pouting and grapples for him, she slots up against him and this will never stop feeling amazing no matter how long he lives.

“I love you.” He whispers into the dark.

The dark doesn’t answer but it doesn’t matter because he already knows the answer.

At 6.30am Philip seriously regrets everything. He feels like a piece of shit and glares at Theo’s sleeping body as he stumbles to the bathroom. He manages to splash some water on his face and brush his teeth but by the time he makes it to homeroom he doesn’t even feel human. Something which everyone seems to be picking up on. Jack is convinced he and Theo did some wild sex shit last night and that’s why he didn’t get to sleep rather than the perfectly normal “we watched a bunch of movies” explanation. That’s why Jack is a piece of shit.

Still after he almost falls asleep three times in US History it’s a relief when he’s finally on the train back home. Home. His eyes burn a little and fuck the lack of sleep is making him emotional.

When he gets back Theo is in the shower obviously just woken up, so he collapses in her bed and passes out almost immediately. When he wakes up it’s dark outside and she’s in the armchair reading and it feels so weirdly reminiscent of his first night here that he sighs a little. Nostalgia? Or loss? Time is moving so fucking fast.

“Hey.” He croaks out and Theo tosses him his water bottle without asking and that ladies and gentlemen is how you know it’s love.

He reaches for his phone. It’s just after eight which is later than he would have thought but it was a good sleep, the kind that imprints pink marks into your skin and makes you bones crack when you stretch.

“Fuuuuuuck I needed that.” He groans.

“I made some pasta and I put the rest in a bowl for you.” Theo looks up, “Wanna go downstairs?”

“Wait,” Philip gets up and pulls off his hoodie. And then his jeans. “I’d rather not fuck on a full stomach.”

And wow, Theo loves that response.


	6. Waterfalls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They run in his father in a cafe in Queens. Philip feels good but also like shit.

That Sunday they don't wake up 'til eleven and Theo looks bright eyed and bushy tailed as she scrolls through her phone.

She looks up to smile fondly and slightly beseechingly, “I have a brunch place in mind.”

Philip rolls his neck “I'm down.” He then reaches across to grab her round the waist. Theo squeals and they play wrestle for a few minutes which turns into more making out. Philip feels light and buoyant like he could just float away. That kind of happiness that blocks out all the bad stuff and with his mouth firm against Theo’s stomach he can believe that nothing else exists outside this house. This room. This bed.

The brunch place is in fucking Queens and they spend the hour on the subway playing footsie (that's Theo kicking at the side of his foot until he changes the song they're listening to- sometimes he yanks his head to the side to rip the headphone out of her ear in retaliation). She smiles at him like it's the first time she's ever seen him, like he's the sun at day-break and it's thrilling and humbling all at one because yeah- he holds her heart in his hands (but remember she has his too).

They end up in this cute diner cum hole in the wall cum cafe drinking smoothies (peach and strawberry for him, mango and passionfruit for her) and sharing waffles and eggs. They're good. What's better is taking to Theo. Proper drawn out conversation that challenge and placate his views and he loves it when he throws her off balance because it feels like he's helping to build her as a person maybe? That'll he'll have some kind of long-lasting impact on her psyche because fuck it she's changed his entire life. Sometimes when he's with Theo he feels a little too exposed, and honestly how is anyone ever ready to fall in love? To fall into vulnerability? Into a state where you're giving someone permission to hurt you but trusting that they won't. When he's with Theo there are moments when he locks eyes with her and wonders if he's the only person who's ever been terrified by the depth of feeling he has for her. 

This brunch place gets a thumbs up in his opinion in conclusion. They also do takeaway and Theo suggests getting some cinnamon rolls for the road and what is there to argue in that? They tried making cinnamon rolls the other day- Philip had loved them because sugar, butter and cinnamon duh, but Theo is a pastry snob and said something about not letting the yeast mature enough or some shit. Philip barely knows what yeast is but hey the Burrs use cookbooks and have jars full of stuff so what can you do?

Philip isn't facing the door, he's sitting with his back to it and he hears the jingle of the bells as a first warning and whatever, people are walking in and out it's a cafe cum diner cum hole in the wall whatever but Theo's face scrambles and he has to look around laughing because he bets it's an ex or some weirdo from school or something dumb but it isn't. He doesn't know what his face must look like because he's trying hard not to feel like he's been punched in the chest.

His dad's standing there and he looks like he's a rabbit faced with a hungry wolf and the only thing Philip can think is 'Damn he got a haircut.'

Like damn their lives have gone without me and my parents aren't just stuck in suspended guilty animation after kicking me out (okay, I kinda kicked myself out) and they're actually doing shit with their lives like getting hair-cuts and visiting diner cum cafe cum hole in the walls.

Philip’s dad obviously doesn't know if he should leave or come closer and he's starting to awkwardly shift so Theo makes the decision because fuck it the love of her life's family sucks but they love him and he loves them and he misses them so.. she shifts over in her seat and gestures him to come over. Philip still looks like he's dying, and his dad moves hesitantly as if he may get screamed at to leave at any moment. Theo's considering it but honestly, she said her piece months ago. If Philip wants to yell more power to him but (she glances at him and he looks calm though flabbergasted) maybe not.

That scream never comes and Alexander slips into the booth beside Theo still acting as though he's trying to figure out whether or not to snip the blue or red wire on a ticking bomb.

“You look good.” He opens with (directing it towards Philip) and honestly Theo wants to face palm that was pathetic.

Philip seems to have swallowed everything down as he's liable to do and just grins as if the past months didn't happen and don't matter. It's a good lie, Theo has to admit. Not even a hitch to his voice.

“I'm not that ex you haven't seen for years who had kids somewhere along the way Pops. It's just me and yeah I know I looks good.” He bats his eyelashes at Theo, “I'm in love.” Theo wonders if his dad can hear the wobbly undercurrent to his voice.

She decides to act natural so Theo snorts and throws her straw wrapper at Philip. “Sap.”

His dad nods and relaxes but only minutely, “Okay okay yeah I'm awkward.” He gives the trademark Hamilton smile and glances around, “What're you doing in Queens on a Sunday?”

“That's my line!” Philip makes a face and the tension bleeds off the table.

“Well _I'm_ here because there's an antique shop in the area and I have a gift idea for your mother's birthday.”

Theo freezes because is that a trigger? but Philip doesn't stumble.

“Seriously Pops? When has mom ever given a shit about old antiques? Just cook her dinner or something.”

“Yeah yeah.” His dad looks distracted but waves off the suggestion sincerely. “Material objects are the way to a woman's heart.”

Theo leans back because this will not be a disaster on her part.

“You're way off base Pops.”

Theo makes the executive decision to go to the bathroom.

She takes her time. Washing her hands thoroughly and checking her eyebrows and putting on more lip balm. She sprays herself with perfume, puts on some hand cream and makes a private bet on whether or not Philip's dad will still be there when she leaves.

She comes back to the table and he's still there and it's exactly the wrong moment, so she hangs back and watches trying not to interrupt.

“Philip, son, we miss you. We're so sorry.” And he looks so uncomfortable saying it. “Please. We're here for you. You can come home. We never wanted it to feel like you had to leave.”

“Fuck you dad. You tried to fucking trade me off to some guy I didn't know! And I get this feeling Georges wasn't exactly salivating to spend the rest of his life with me either.”

“That was for your own good! We didn't know if you'd ever be able to find a good Alpha with the way you were carrying on.”

“Well la-di-fucking-da I did. You fucking married mom because you were “in love” not because she was an Omega which probably would have been better because you wouldn't have cheated on her otherwise.”

“Now wait a minute-”

“No. No you fucking listen to me. You don't have the bond. You have never had the bond. You have no idea what the bond is like and all your weird wilful misunderstandings about it suck. You wanna know something? Alex, your fucking precious namesake of a son is terrified of presenting as an Omega because he's scared you'll force him on some Alpha he _doesn't like_ because that's what you did to me. Screw you dad! Fuck you!”

Alexander looks stumped and pale. Drained against the red vinyl of the booths.

“I-”

“You what? You actually don't even know what to be sorry for because you don't even know what you did! You don't even get that it's wrong! You're such a hypocrite. All your life you've been exclusively doing things _you_ want to because why not? You fucked Maria Reynolds, you took the treasury Secretary job, you moved us out to DC and back, you tried to get rid of me because why not? So why don't you take all the hedonism and look in the mirror and realise just because you're an all-powerful Alpha doesn't mean everyone has to bend over backwards to accommodate what you want! I have a new Alpha now!”

“Son, I-”

“Stop it! Stop using that fucking voice on me!”

“What voice?” Alexander looks so puzzled it's remarkable.

Philip's eyes narrow in disgust, “You don't know anything about your classification, let alone mine, let alone the bond. What gives you the fucking right to make decisions or pass judgement on any of those things? You know what get out! I don't want to talk anymore get the fuck out!” And Philip looks actually enraged and Theo thinks she sees something like fear flicker in his dad's eyes and _good_ he deserves it he deserves that. Alexander doesn't try to fight it. He holds up his hands placatingly and with one more soft apology he gets up and leaves with only one last sad look over his shoulder. 

Theo strides forward smoothly and slides into the seat next to Philip and wraps her arms around him. The other patrons begin to talk among themselves again and the moment is lost. Theo isn't Philip's parent. She's not his Alpha in a paternalistic sense, she's his partner. His equal. And she's not going to say any of the things she's privately thinking. 

“I hate this.” He mutters and Theo just nods and closes her eyes. She hates it too.

They sit there and Theo orders to cinnamon rolls to the table and they pick at them. Philip's eyes stay fixed to his knees.

“I feel good.” he whispers, and Theo just nods and takes another sip of her smoothie. “But I also feel shit.”

All she can do is squeeze his arm. “That's how it'll feel for a while.”

He nods exhausted.

They sit there 'til it gets dark.

**Author's Note:**

> This was written a while ago and it's only now that I'm editing and reworking it. Can't seem to come up with a good summary though so if you have any suggestions please hit me up.


End file.
